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The Science Post

ST. PAUL, MN – Theresa Herbert, 38, was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She didn’t think much about vaccines when she got the news, but she soon starting doing some digging on the internet about possible causes of MS. That’s when she came across the theory that MS is caused by adjuvants commonly found in vaccines.

“It was a like a shot to the heart,” explained Herbert. “The last vaccine I got was the seasonal flu vaccine in 2006. It took 10 years, but I am now one of the thousands of vaccine-injured Americans.”

Theresa is sharing her story over all the anti-vaccine conspiracy websites and Facebook groups and is overwhelmed by the response.

“It’s amazing. They have accepted me and my story with open arms and believe, just as I do, that is was undoubtedly the flu vaccine from 10 years ago that cause my MS. My favorite part of the groups is that they really aren’t hampered or burdened down by “proof.” You can just say you were vaccine-injured and they blindly accept your anecdote as truth. It’s very refreshing.”

This is just another story of…

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Trump to meet with flat earthers to discuss Planetary Safety Committee
NEW YORK, NY – President-elect Donald Trump announced today that
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By SP Team Published on Jan 11, 2017
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The Science Post

NEW YORK, NY – President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will be meeting with top ranking flat earth conspiracy theorists to for a Planetary Safety Committee.

It was recently announced that Trump is considering appointing anti-vaccine conspiracy nut Robert Kennedy Jr. to form a vaccine safety committee which has left normal, rational people scratching their heads.

“I already have RFK tapped to lead the country away from the vaccine and autism epidemic, it only makes sense to have people who know more than liberal scientists to lead our space program,” said Trump.

The Science Post has also learned that Trump is considering hiring The Food Babe to investigate nutrition and GMOs and reached out to Dina Lohan to lead a committee on parenting.

Stay tuned for updates as they become available.

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Alt Med

CLEVELAND, OH – Dr. Daniel Neides, Medical Director and Chief Operating Officer of the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute, announced his intention on Friday to abandon evidence-based, modern medicine in order to adopt the Four Humors, a healing system favored by Ancient Greek physicians and the doctors of the Middle Ages. Neides’ decision comes on the heels of a devastating cold he caught by coincidence following his annual flu shot. Still struggling with congestion and a
Porterfield Levy / Jan 10
The wife of Toronto resident Julian Dunkleman has confirmed reports that her 52 year old husband has promised to start a week-long juice cleanse at approximately 7am tomorrow morning. According to Mrs. Dunkleman, the cleanse was slated to begin yesterday but was postponed due to what her husband called a “stressful day at work”. Sources close to the family are skeptical, claiming they’ve heard this kind of rhetoric before. “His last diet lasted two days.
Spudd / Jan 6

Conspiracy

In a breaking story you won’t find anywhere else except for the internet, The Science Post has learned that sheep are actually awake more than nearly all other animals. While many people often say that sheep are asleep and not “AWAKE” to what is going on, they actually only sleep 3-4 hours a day. “Yes it’s true, most sheep are active for 20 to 21 hours a day,” said farmer Brad Thorne. “They are one
Spudd / Nov 12
Miami, FL – Tom Frieden, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert, delivered a solemn message last week about the spread of Zika, the mosquito-borne virus that is spreading throughout Florida. The hoarse Frieden stood before the Miami audience and just said, “Welp,” and walked off the stage. The exhausted Frieden, who has spent months warning the public about Zika and begging Congress for federal funding to help fight its spread, left Miami without saying, “I
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Big Pharma

NEW YORK, NY – Local 277 who represents Pharma Shills worldwide, is threatening to strike if a new collective bargaining agreement is not reached with Big Pharma. Pharma Shills are employed by numerous pharmaceutical companies to search the internet for any and all articles related to vaccines, alternative medicine and miracle cures and post scripted comments. “We have a had a very tough year, and Big Pharma better step up to the plate” said union
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Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced today that they would be debuting a new vaccine in early 2016 to protect against vaccine injuries. “The vaccine works like most other vaccines, with the shot containing weakened versions of vaccine injuries like encephalitis, MS and of course autism,” explained Pfizer’s head of drug discovery Dr. Walter Black. “We are hoping this will give parents some piece of mind.” Of course, no vaccine is 100% safe and effective and Pfizer
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Food Science

ST. LOUIS, MI – In a breaking story making headlines across the globe, anti-GMO advocates have reportedly only just now found out that their beloved organic food industry is comprised of for-profit companies. “I’m devastated to be honest,” said Marsha Belanger of March Against Monsanto. “Next thing you’re going to tell me that the alternative medicine industry is in it for the money too.” While it is well known that Monsanto is pure evil and
Spudd / Dec 1
FRESNO, CA – Becky Haskell was back from college for the Thanksgiving holiday and was happy to sit down with her family for a delicious turkey dinner. She did, however, have some concerns. “I told my whole family that I no longer eat gluten or GMOs” explained Becky. “I’ve learned so much in my first two months of college, like I know more about science and stuff than almost everyone I know.” Becky’s mom was
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Vaccines

Delayed reaction: Woman suffers vaccine injury 10 years after getting vaccine

Spudd / Jan 19
ST. PAUL, MN – Theresa Herbert, 38, was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She didn’t think much about vaccines when she got the news, but she soon starting doing some




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Delayed reaction: Woman suffers vaccine injury 10 years after getting vaccine
The Science Post

ST. PAUL, MN – Theresa Herbert, 38, was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She didn’t think much about vaccines when she got the news, but she soon starting doing some digging on the internet about possible causes of MS. That’s when she came across the theory that MS is…

World Health Organization classifies Monsanto’s dihydrogen monoxide as “probably carcinogenic”
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SWITZERLAND – The World Health Organization struck a huge blow against Monsanto today when they classified one of their most used chemicals, dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO), as “probably carcinogenic.”

“Monsanto uses this chemical in almost everything they make…

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The Science Post

Trump announced today that he intends to make America energy independent and create millions of jobs by bringing back the gaslighting industry. Trump made the announcement in a 3 am tweet:

“I will unleash TRILLIONS of dollars in untapped gaslight! Obama made us TOTALLY dependant on hostile nations for our gaslight! DUMB!”

The move has been met with enthusiasm from supporters who believe the current administration has allowed American gaslighting jobs to be shipped overseas. According to one fan who calls himself ‘Deplorable Cucksucker’,

“It’s about damn time somebody put American gaslighting first. Main stream media liars never even talk about how Muslims get all the best gaslighting.”

It is unclear how Mr. Trump intends to implement his new plan. When asked to explain his thinking, he gave reporters a thumbs-up sign in the lobby of Trump Tower and stated briefly,

“Just wait. American gaslighting will be totally terrific. I will have tremendous success with gaslighting.”

Edited: At 3 pm, the president-elect appeared to back away from his early-morning statements, responding angrily to questions about gaslighting, claiming he had “no idea what you people are talking about.” He followed up with this 11 pm tweet:

“Media putting words in my mouth again! LAME! Can always…




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NEW HAVEN, CT – In a breaking story that is sure to make headlines across the globe, the research team led by Dr. Frederick Martin have reportedly found the cure for cancer. While the team has not officially released all the details of the cure or it’s complete formula, The Science Post has learned that it contains at least two very hard to pronounce chemicals. As such, it is being largely rejected by the anti-vaccine, anti-GMO
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The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases. “We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber. “DKD is characterized as expressing or believing that one has vast and expert knowledge in a subject which they actually do not. It most often presents in the fields of
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LOS ANGELES, CA – Mattel announced a new line of Barbies today to much fanfare among conspiracy theorists: the anti-vaccine Barbie. There will be 4 dolls in total: Measles Barbie, Mumps Barbie, Rubella Barbie and Polio Barbie (complete with wheelchair). “We are really hoping to corner the market on the science illiterate,” said Mattel Spokesman Ken Rothwell. “We know a lot of anti-vaccers are actually fairly wealthy as well as fairly stupid. In a nutshell,
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Interesting

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Delayed reaction: Woman suffers vaccine injury 10 years after getting vaccine
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Vaccines
SP Team 2, Jan 46 secs
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The Science Post

Beginning in 2017, The Science Post has learned that all anti-vaccine blogs (such as Natural News, Alternative Mama, David Wolfe, etc.) will begin to use the comic sans font in an attempt to connect better with their readers.

“We know that the average reader of our material is quiet uneducated,” said Mike Adams from Natural News. “We hope by changing to a more kid-friendly font, it will help readers to better follow and understand our ramblings.”

Many more serious journalists and bloggers are against the font, claiming it was so overused in the last 15 years that it has become painful to look at.

“It could be the worst font ever invented,” said Derek Hutton from Front Falcon. “The only person I know who likes that font is my 7 year old daughter.”

At last report several of the anti-vaccine blogs out there were busy making their previous posts all appear in Comic Sans as well, and so far the results have been great. According to fake reports, the readers of these types of blogs and websites are loving the new font, commenting that it is “fun” and “easier to read”.

Anti-GMO and Creationist websites are reportedly following this move closely and considering a move to the font themselves early in the new year.

 

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WEEKLY EDITORIAL

ST. PAUL, MN – Theresa Herbert, 38, was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She didn’t think much about vaccines when she got the news, but she soon starting doing some digging on the internet about possible causes of MS. That’s when she came across the theory that MS is caused by adjuvants commonly found in vaccines.

“It was a like a shot to the heart,” explained Herbert. “The last vaccine I got was the seasonal flu vaccine in 2006. It took 10 years, but I am now one of the thousands of vaccine-injured Americans.”

Theresa is sharing her story over all the anti-vaccine conspiracy websites and Facebook groups and is overwhelmed by the response.

“It’s amazing. They have accepted me and my story with open arms and believe, just as I do, that is was undoubtedly the flu vaccine from 10 years ago that cause my MS. My favorite part of the groups is that they really aren’t hampered or burdened down by “proof.” You can just say you were vaccine-injured and they blindly accept your anecdote as truth. It’s very refreshing.”

This is just another story of Big Pharma and the medical mafia getting away with maiming and harming red-blooded Americans.

“Unfortunately, Theresa’s story is not that uncommon” explained Sherri Tenpenny, anti-vaccine cult leader. “We have seen people who received all their childhood vaccinations just like the CDC told them they should and then bam! 30 years later – cancer. It’s truly an epidemic.”

If you or anyone…