0 26 secs
The Science Post

The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases.

“We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber. “DKD is characterized as expressing or believing that one has vast and expert knowledge in a subject which they actually do not. It most often presents in the fields of medicine and science.”

There is currently no known cure for DKD, but scientists are hopeful with more education and isolation, it can be contained.

“We haven’t seen this level of DKD since Jenny McCarthy started spreading her vaccine causes autism bullshit” said Webber. “I fear the DKD level will continue to rise as more and more people with DKD have access to the internet, as well as there being several celebrities with the disease.”

Some say the worst part of DKD is that the carriers have no idea they are infected, nor how easily they can spread it to others.

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Woman wakes up after 20 year coma, reads news, asks to go back in coma
NEW YORK, NY – Area woman Janet Hutton, 53, finally awoke
NEWS
By SP Team Published on Dec 7, 2016
0 2 mins
The Science Post

NEW YORK, NY – Area woman Janet Hutton, 53, finally awoke from a nearly 20 year coma to the delight and celebration of both doctors and family.

Unfortunately, soon after she woke up, he was given a laptop to catch up on the worlds news. He did not like what he saw.

“You mean to tell me that people think vaccines cause autism, Donald Trump is our next president, and we’ve made amazing advances in food technology but people are against it?” asked a bewildered Hutton. “No thank you. I’d rather be asleep quite frankly.”

Normally, doctors are not allowed to place a patient in a medically-induced coma via request, only when it is medically necessary. However, given the circumstances of 2016 they have made an exception.

“We feel that it will benefit Ms. Hutton’s mental health to be placed back into a coma and not have to deal with the events of 2016,” said neurologist Dr. Grant Jenson. “To be honest, I can’t really blame her and I sort of envy her.”

Many people are counting down the days until 2016 comes to a close with many feeling it was the worst year of their lives.

“2017 can’t come soon enough,” said one person we interviewed. “2016 was a terrible, terrible year. Fingers crossed that 2017 is somehow a little better.”

People are anxiously awaiting Trump’s first few months as president to see what happens, including the science community. Trump…

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Hospital to replace doctors with parents who have done their research
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - A large tertiary care center in Sydney,
Trump warned about skin cancer risk after pre-presidential physical reveals dangerously thin skin
WASHINGTON, DC – President Elect Donald Trump received some bad
Study: If you are worried about GMOs and vaccines, life is going pretty well for you
A new study from Yale University revealed that people who

Alt Med

Researchers published what could be a groundbreaking study this week in the Lancet, implicating homeopathic vaccines (known as nosodes) as a cause of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). A  nosode “is a homeopathic remedy prepared from a pathological specimen. The specimen is taken from a diseased animal or person and may consist of saliva, pus, urine, blood, or diseased tissue.” There are varying strengths of nosodes as well, from 30C up to 200C dilution. This study
Spudd / Oct 14
Brad Smith from Detroit, Michigan never meant to take homeopathic medicine. “I’ve never bought any homeopathic medicine, ever. So imagine my surprise when I found out I had been taking it for almost my whole life without even knowing it.” Smith was surfing the Internet recently when he stumbled across an article on homeopathic medicine. After only minutes of reading, he discovered that it turns out homeopathic medicine is nothing more than water. The very
Spudd / Sep 30

Conspiracy

In a breaking story you won’t find anywhere else except for the internet, The Science Post has learned that sheep are actually awake more than nearly all other animals. While many people often say that sheep are asleep and not “AWAKE” to what is going on, they actually only sleep 3-4 hours a day. “Yes it’s true, most sheep are active for 20 to 21 hours a day,” said farmer Brad Thorne. “They are one
Spudd / Nov 12
Miami, FL – Tom Frieden, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert, delivered a solemn message last week about the spread of Zika, the mosquito-borne virus that is spreading throughout Florida. The hoarse Frieden stood before the Miami audience and just said, “Welp,” and walked off the stage. The exhausted Frieden, who has spent months warning the public about Zika and begging Congress for federal funding to help fight its spread, left Miami without saying, “I
Porterfield Levy / Nov 2

Big Pharma

NEW YORK, NY – Local 277 who represents Pharma Shills worldwide, is threatening to strike if a new collective bargaining agreement is not reached with Big Pharma. Pharma Shills are employed by numerous pharmaceutical companies to search the internet for any and all articles related to vaccines, alternative medicine and miracle cures and post scripted comments. “We have a had a very tough year, and Big Pharma better step up to the plate” said union
Spudd / Oct 23
Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced today that they would be debuting a new vaccine in early 2016 to protect against vaccine injuries. “The vaccine works like most other vaccines, with the shot containing weakened versions of vaccine injuries like encephalitis, MS and of course autism,” explained Pfizer’s head of drug discovery Dr. Walter Black. “We are hoping this will give parents some piece of mind.” Of course, no vaccine is 100% safe and effective and Pfizer
Spudd / Oct 18

Food Science

ST. LOUIS, MI – In a breaking story making headlines across the globe, anti-GMO advocates have reportedly only just now found out that their beloved organic food industry is comprised of for-profit companies. “I’m devastated to be honest,” said Marsha Belanger of March Against Monsanto. “Next thing you’re going to tell me that the alternative medicine industry is in it for the money too.” While it is well known that Monsanto is pure evil and
Spudd / Dec 1
FRESNO, CA – Becky Haskell was back from college for the Thanksgiving holiday and was happy to sit down with her family for a delicious turkey dinner. She did, however, have some concerns. “I told my whole family that I no longer eat gluten or GMOs” explained Becky. “I’ve learned so much in my first two months of college, like I know more about science and stuff than almost everyone I know.” Becky’s mom was
Spudd / Nov 24

Vaccines

Mattel introduces new line of anti-vaccine Barbies complete with viruses and bacteria

Spudd / Dec 9
LOS ANGELES, CA – Mattel announced a new line of Barbies today to much fanfare among conspiracy theorists: the anti-vaccine Barbie. There will be 4 dolls in total: Measles Barbie,




FLASH

NEWS

Outbreak of Dunning Kruger Disease spreads to all 50 states
The Science Post

The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases.

“We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber. “DKD is characterized as expressing…

Mattel introduces new line of anti-vaccine Barbies complete with viruses and bacteria
The Science Post

LOS ANGELES, CA – Mattel announced a new line of Barbies today to much fanfare among conspiracy theorists: the anti-vaccine Barbie.

There will be 4 dolls in total: Measles Barbie, Mumps Barbie, Rubella Barbie and Polio Barbie (complete with wheelchair).

“We are really hoping to corner the market on the science…

News

0 [post-views]view 46 secs
The Science Post
News Nov 30, 2016

DOVER, IN – Local man Gary Harold, 37, has had enough of the mainstream media not telling him what he wants to hear so he has decided to exclusively get his news from sites like Info Wars and Natural News.

Several of Harold’s friends and family warned him against the move, as sites like that tend to have their own biases when reporting their “news”.

“I’m so sick of the mainstream media never reporting any conspiracy theories, the dangers of GMOs, the link between vaccines and autism, any of that stuff,” explained Harold. “They are so scared to report the real troof, its embarrassing. From now on its nothing but alternative media for this cat.”

While his friends and family are against the move, Harold has received many positive reviews about his decision from the members of his Facebook conspiracy groups.

“Frankly, I’m surprised it took him this long to wake up,” said Jeremy Campbell, conspiracy theorist and parent basement dweller. “I haven’t read anything from the mainstream media in years and I’ve never been more awake. Everything I want confirmation on I can find now in the click of a button.”

Several people have become fed up with some sites seemingly glossing over conspiracy…




MORE

NEWS

A new study from Yale University revealed that people who worry about GMOs and vaccines have pretty damn good lives. The study surveyed over 5,000 Americans and discovered an inverse correlation between those who worried about these issues and those who had serious problems in their lives. Lead author of the study, Dr. Steve Groski told The Science Post, “We found that if you worried about GMOs, or vaccines, that pretty much guaranteed you were
McSheep / Nov 21
WASHINGTON, DC – Several hundred more of Hillary Clinton’s emails were released earlier today by Wikileaks and they show Clinton was in regular contact with various pharmaceutical companies discussing the possible production of a vaccine against Donald Trump. According to one of the emails, Clinton asked Merck CEO Dr. Mark Webber if they “were any closer to producing a vaccine which would either prevent people from believing Trump’s rhetoric and/or prevent xenophobia from infecting the
Spudd / Nov 19
WASHINGTON, DC – Several hundred more of Hillary Clinton’s emails were released earlier today by Wikileaks and they show Clinton was in regular contact with various pharmaceutical companies discussing the possible production of a vaccine against Donald Trump. According to one of the emails, Clinton asked Merck CEO Dr. Mark Webber if they “were any closer to producing a vaccine which would either prevent people from believing Trump’s rhetoric and/or prevent xenophobia from infecting the
Spudd / Nov 19
LOS ANGELES, CA – Alternative media and health/science websites are becoming more and more popular as more people become frustrated with the “mainstream” media rhetoric. InfoWars, Natural News and Breitbart News teamed up for a study during the election and found that sites such as theirs were significantly more reliable than mainstream media outlets like CNN, WebMD and others. “We found that articles and stories from sites like ours tended to be more truthful and had more
Spudd / Nov 17

Interesting

ARTICLES

Vaccines
SP Team 23, Nov 6 mins
0 6 mins
The Science Post

Using advanced shrinking technology, one brave reporter from The Science Post shrunk down and ventured into the mind and brain of an anti-vaccer to try and find out what goes on in there.

The reporter, who shall remain nameless for their own protection, volunteered for the job and earned the respect of the scientific community for their bravery.

“I for one certainly wouldn’t have done it,” said Doktor Spudd. “I’d be too scared of what I would see and worried it would scar me for life.”

Here is a summary of what our brave reporter found on their journey:

Upon entering the anti-vaccers body (hereby referred to as “Jacob”) I was immediately taken aback by a few things: one, they had clearly had their childhood vaccines based on what I saw and yet did not have any dibilitating condition. I found this strange since we all know how devastating vaccines can be. I, perhaps naively, assumed that Jacob had not received any vaccines in his lifetime.

I ventured further up the posterior cerebral artery and eventually made it to the brain and braced myself for what was to come.

Upon entering the brain, I found myself in the cerebellum (which is located under the cerebrum). The main function of the cerebellum is to coordinate muscle movements, maintain posture, and balance. This part of the brain seemed to be “normal” as far as I could tell, the only minor difference I could see was a strange ethereal like image of Jenny McCarthy floating around between the brain matter. Very strange.

I then made my way up to the meat and potatoes of the brain if you will, the cerebrum. The cerebrum is the largest part of…

MORE ARTICLES IN THIS CATEGORY

WEEKLY EDITORIAL

The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases.

“We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber. “DKD is characterized as expressing or believing that one has vast and expert knowledge in a subject which they actually do not. It most often presents in the fields of medicine and science.”

There is currently no known cure for DKD, but scientists are hopeful with more education and isolation, it can be contained.

“We haven’t seen this level of DKD since Jenny McCarthy started spreading her vaccine causes autism bullshit” said Webber. “I fear the DKD level will continue to rise as more and more people with DKD have access to the internet, as well as there being several celebrities with the disease.”

Some say the worst part of DKD is that the carriers have no idea they are infected, nor how easily they can spread it to others.