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Big Pharma

Pharma Shills threatening to strike

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on strike

NEW YORK, NY – Local 277 who represents Pharma Shills worldwide, is threatening to strike if a new collective bargaining agreement is not reached with Big Pharma. Pharma Shills are employed by numerous pharmaceutical companies to search the internet for any and all articles related…

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Pfizer announces new vaccine to protect against vaccine injuries

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Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer announced today that they would be debuting a new vaccine in early 2016 to protect against vaccine injuries. “The vaccine works like most other vaccines, with the shot containing weakened versions of vaccine injuries like encephalitis, MS and of course autism,” explained…

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Breaking: Childhood vaccines soon to contain 65% mercury

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Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

NEW YORK, NY – Big Pharma is ready to roll out it’s latest vaccine, a shot with upwards of 65% mercury, supposedly to protect against mercury poisoning. “Look, we have a bunch of left over mercury and we’re not really sure what to do with…

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Big Pharma applauds EpiPen price hike, looks to expand same tactic to vaccines

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EpiPen

NEW YORK, NY – The recent price hike in EpiPens, up nearly 400% in price over the past 6 years, has angered many – with the exception of Big Pharma and the Illuminati. “What Mylen Pharmaceuticals was able to do with the price of the…

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Big Pharma debuts latest revenue killer, aka a new vaccine

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Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

NEW HAVEN, CT – Merck Pharmaceuticals has announced the release of a new and improved DTaP and MMR vaccine which they hope to make available by the new year. “This is just one moreĀ in a long line of revenue killing vaccines that we have come…

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Breaking: Big Pharma to stop making vaccines; anti-vaccers and diseases everywhere rejoice

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science, health, satire, vaccines.

NEW YORK, NY – In a breaking story you won’t read anywhere else because we made it up, Big Pharma is immediately stopping all production of vaccines. They have decided to focus more on profits and their shareholders and therefor will discontinue the practice of…

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