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Anti-vaccers petition to have Mercury removed from solar system

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Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – In a bold move in the push for scientific illiteracy, anti-vaccine zealots have started an online petition to pressure the universe to remove Mercury from the solar system.

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SpaceX looking for anti-vaccine volunteers for one-way trip to Mercury

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spacex

SpaceX, Space Exploration Technologies Corporation, is looking to fill its latest rocket with anti-vaccine zealots on a one-way mission to Mercury. “We know how much anti-vaccers hate Mercury, and we know how much rational people dislike anti-vaccers, so this was a no-brainer” said SpaceX CEO…

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Traces of vaccines found on Mercury

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The Mercury space rover, Trace Amounts 1,recently sent back images and analyzed dust and rocks found on the surface of the planet. To their surprise, the planet seems to have traces of the MMR and Polio vaccines on it’s surface. “This is not what we…

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Neil deGrasse Tyson really regretting that Pluto tattoo

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Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

NEW YORK, NY – Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson is reportedly really regretting his now infamous Pluto tattoo on his lower back. “Look when I got the ol’ Pluto tramp stamp it was my favorite planet,” explained Tyson. “Yes, looking back on it it was probably…

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Possible ninth planet, Planet X, really rubbing it in Pluto’s face

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CAL TECH – Astronomers and physicists at Cal Tech University have theorized the existence of a giant ninth planet, somewhere in the distant recesses of our solar system. The planet, dubbed Planet X, is estimated to be the size of Neptune and is reportedly being…

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Skeptics Guide to the Universe conveniently glosses over Mercury when discussing the universe

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Controversy is surrounding the members of The Skeptics Guide to the Universe (SGU) after a recent podcast talking about our solar system. SGU is a group of skeptics which comprises such Pharma Shills as Jay and Steve Novella, Evan Bernstein and…

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