Millions of Pfizer vaccines recalled due to accidentally containing 4G

Pfizer is recalling thousands of lots of their COVID-19 vaccine after the company disclosed that they were made containing 4G, instead of the standard 5G.

“This is admittedly a huge error,” said Pfizer CEO Hans Gruber. “We are very careful to make sure our vaccines only ever contain approved, mind-controlling ingredients like 5G. We are working hard to rectify the problem.”

Doctors first noticed the issue when several patients who received the vaccine did not become magnetic, the hallmark of 5G. As of right now, doctors say there is nothing to worry about – but if you have had the Pfizer COVID vaccine, you should check to see if you are magnetic to make sure you received the 5G version.

“I am shocked and frankly very upset,” said Neil Farfey, 44. “I got the vaccine for two main reasons: to protect myself from getting COVID and to get the 5G upgrade. To now be told I may only have 4G? What is this, 2018?”

Reports indicate some patients are trying to organize a march against 4G and attempting to sue Pfizer for the error. There have already been several reports of non-magnetizing patients entered into the VAERS database.

More on this story as it develops.

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