Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

Mom’s kiss more effective than homeopathy in treating children’s pain

in Alt Med by

PITTSBURGH, PA – In a new study out of the University of Pittsburgh, researchers discovered that a kiss from mom or dad on a scrape or cut is just as effective as homeopathy for treating pain.

“We looked at 248 children who had minor bumps and scrapes on their arms and legs,” explained Dr. Francis Campbell. “We found that that children who received a kiss from a parent on the area of the injury experienced faster and more significant pain relief than children who received no kiss and instead were given homeopathy.”

The study is a breakthrough for parents and a bit of a slap in the face to homeopathy, whose practitioners claim can cure anything.

“What kind of homeopathy were the children given? How long after getting the homeopathy were the children assessed? These are all questions that need to be answered. Often times the benefits of homeopathy are not evident until around the same time that the injury or illness would have naturally resolved on its own,” said Dana Ullman, homeopath.

Ullman, who is famous for misinterpreting studies on medicine and homoepathy, believes this new study shows that parents should use homeopathy for their kids.

“There were no adverse reactions in the homeopathy group in this study. That can’t be said for conventional pain treatments,” explained Ullman.

The study will be published in next months issue of The Journal of American Parenting.


  • Acleron

    Brilliant, well done.

  • Pingback: sinusfunktion()

  • Homeopathy does not hace any effect, it is just a placebo

    • Einar B

      But placebos have a great effect!

      • Carlos SLB

        But placebos shoudn’t cost so much

        • Placebo for the richiest

          “The cheaper one can’t be as good as the expensive one” for being placebo needs to cost that much

        • heather macauley

          homeopathy is very cheap in fact. I have used it for a few decades, alway with very very good results. Even when I was mistaken from the conversation what it was FOR; so it was the opposite of a placebo. It worked in spite of my expectation of another result!

          • Mike Stevens

            “homeopathy is very cheap in fact.”
            Well, water is cheap.
            Unfortunately, exploitative homeopaths tend to charge excessively for this water, and the annual revenue of companies like Boiron is in the $billions each year.

      • knotfreak

        The effect of a placebo can be harmful, especially when it prevents ther person from getting real treatment in a timely matter. If there’s a tumor, this can be critical. Also, the placebo effect is temporary (since it doesn’t really do anything); once it wears off, the person is off to find the next bit of woo in what becomes a quest for a “cure”. In the meantime the tumor grows….

  • Einar B

    A bit brief to be brilliant, isn´t it?

    • Acleron

      The essential part of humour.

  • disqus_8zbuSwYc2s

    “Often times the benefits of homeopathy are not evident until around the same time that the injury or illness would have naturally resolved on its own.” LMAO!! I can’t believe that she said this and didn’t even recognize the insanity of her statement!!
    Oh homeopathy, you never fail to amuse.

    • knotfreak

      Ullman is a boy Dana, not girl.

      • disqus_8zbuSwYc2s

        Sorry, Dana can be either gender and the article didn’t use any gendered pronouns.
        But my original statement still stands.

        • knotfreak

          Of course your excellent point stands! I was just letting you know for future reference that this Dana is male. He is quite well known in skeptic circles No need to apologise. 🙂

          On Mar 21, 2016, at 9:24 PM, Disqus wrote:

          • disqus_8zbuSwYc2s

            Thanks for the heads up. I’m sure I’ll see his idiotic comments around.

          • Chris

            Oh, they are quite numerous! Check out the most recent homeopathy article on ScienceBasedMedicine article posted by Jann Bellamy on the 17th of March 2016. He is there in all of his glorious repetitive idiocy.

          • disqus_8zbuSwYc2s

            “glorious idiocy” I”m totally going to use that! Enjoy your spring break.

          • Chris

            Thanks! Enjoy it. The inspiration of the wording is from a book: Glorious Misadventures: Nikolai Rezanov and the Dream of a Russian America by Owen Matthews

            It is a fun and interesting book.

          • Mike Stevens

            I like saying “malignant stupidity”
            (It’s my own, so of course I do…)

          • Mike Stevens

            He has a bot set up which picks up his name whenever it is mentioned on the interwebz. He will be here presently.

  • Tim Pietzcker

    I can’t find any references about this “Journal of American Parenting”, nor of a Dr. Francis Campbell at the U of Pittsburgh. I’d love to believe this is true, but so far, I can’t find any source to corroborate it.

    • Chris

      Here is a hint. Read the three words under this website’s title at the top of the page. What does the third word mean?

      • Tim Pietzcker

        OK, so this site is The Onion for Science 🙂 Got it. I came here because Simon Singh seems to have fallen for it as well (just like me)…and some others around here, it seems.

        • Chris

          Interesting that Simon Singh fell for it. Usually when I see a blog article that is ridiculous I look for the word “satire.”

          Sadly there are silly articles that turn out to be written in true seriousness. Have you seen the one on homeopathy based on the light from Saturn?

  • Mike Stevens

    I’ve always pointed out that KIBotherapy TM** is highly effective, being mediated through the placebo effect and that it is far superior to all manner of f*wit quackery such as homeopathy, crystal therapy, Bach remedies, iridology, reflexology and healing touch.

    **Kiss It Better therapy.

  • Pingback: Beijo de mãe cura SIM, confirmam cientistas | Mamãe Plugada()

  • Pingback: BEIJO DE MÃE CURA SIM! – CONFIRMAM CIENTISTAS: - Dr. Alberto Jorge | Dr. Alberto Jorge()

  • Sonja Henie

    My alma mater! Love it!

  • chichiplus

    LOL Hail To PITT!!!