science, health, satire, vaccines.

Chemtrails may protect against vaccine injuries, study finds

in Conspiracy by

PROVIDENCE, RI – In a new study coming out of Brown University, researchers concluded that being sprayed with chemtrails actually has a positive effect when it comes to vaccine injuries.

“We sprayed chemtrails over 3 different cities in Rhode Island and then followed children in those cities for 4 years,” said Dr. Frank Defano. “We saw a strikingly lower rate of vaccine injuries in the children from the chemtrail laden cities than the normal population.”

Science, Vaccines, Med School, SatireWhile not all the data are available from the study just yet, it appears as though only 20% of the children who were severely sprayed with chemtrails ended up developing autism after their vaccines; a much lower rate than the 80% who normally get autism from vaccines.

“We are very excited about our findings and are hoping to present the data at several international conferences this summer,” said Dr. Defano. “We really need to push governments to increase their chemtrail use. You know, for the kids.”

Conspiracy theorists are somewhat confused by the news, not knowing how to react.

“Chemtrails are poison and they are making millions of people sick!” said Nina Morocco, conspiracy theorist. “And vaccines are also toxic…and…well….they are both bad and we should stop both of them!”

Governments have been secretly spraying their own countries with toxic chemtrails for decades and it is only thanks to brave mavericks with the ability to make YouTube videos that the general population is finally being informed.

“Sheep, wake up, chemtrails, Monsanto, shills, do your research” said Morroco. Sage advice indeed.


  • JohnEffKerry

    Wake up sheeple! Big Pharma and Big Hydro continues the war against all of us! The obvious connection between chemtrails and vaccines is that they both contain DiHydrogen Monoxide!

    • Many people are persuaded to cover their bodies in di hydrogen monoxide, gargle with it, even put it in squeeze bottles and insert it into their nether cavities. And they all die .

      • JohnEffKerry

        Yes, they all die. We all die. Every single one of us. We all die because of Big Hydro and DiHydrogen Monoxide.
        That shit is in everything.

    • dratsab

      diHydrogenMonoxide (aka hydric acid) is so insidious it’s been found in large quantities in Antarctica. I know this to be 100% true because I’ve read it on the internet. I’ve also been hearing horror stories about people who inhaled this stuff and died!!

    • Ben Smith

      Just so you know, nobody’s every been persuaded by anything that started with “Wake up sheeple”.

      • JohnEffKerry

        Well thanks, Ben! Good to know! However, it looks like I awakened the sheeple in you. You took notice and now I hope you join the fight against the pernicious evil of DiHydrogen Monoxide. Do it for the children!

        • kellymbray

          Don’t wake up the Sheeple!!!!!

        • anwahs

          Its hard not to take notice of complete imbeciles. You’re an anti vaxxer and yet you say “Do it for the children!” Do what? Give them measles, you sick bastard!

          “In 2000, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention declared that
          measles had finally been eliminated in the United States. It was a
          triumph—but it didn’t last. By 2014 there were 677 reported cases of the
          disease, the highest rate in 20 years.
          In 2015, there were 189 reported cases—low compared to 2014, but still
          outrageous considering there were zero cases 15 years earlier.
          Scientists attribute the unfortunate rise in measles and other infectious diseases to the growing number of parents who forgo or delay vaccinations for their children. People who abstain from vaccinations endanger the general population by weakening herd immunity, in which a highly immunized population protects against the spread of a disease. When less than 96 percent of a population is vaccinated, measles is more likely to spread to people who can’t be vaccinated for health reasons and to people who don’t develop full immunity even after being vaccinated. This means that we should all be frightened by the anti-vaxxer movement, even those of us who do vaccinate our children. But a new study funded by the National Institutes of Health indicates that the biggest victims of the anti-vaccine movement are the children of anti-vaxxers.”

          • JohnEffKerry

            Absolutely true! All of it! Vaccines contain DiHydrogen Monoxide. Would you deliberately put DiHydrogen Monoxide in your child?!

    • anwahs

      good fukkin grief!

      • JohnEffKerry

        Hi! Are you just waking up?! Did you shower in DiHydrogen Monoxide?

  • Don’t feed the madness!

  • All I can say is…

  • Clint Hamilton

    Who’s been chopping the “Onions” in here? This makes me cry it’s so lame.

  • Suspension of disbelief is essential if you want to be accepted in the modern church of state-sanctioned “science”. That means to never look up and never question financially conflicted corporations.

    • Chris

      Which state?

      Do we go with the laws of physics as outlined by Newton who was in what is now the UK, or always use the more detailed stuff from Einstein? Or the guys who want us to invest in cold fusion, perpetual motion or free energy machines?

      Which planes make better chemtrails? The ones made by Boeing or Airbus? Or maybe even Embraer? You know there has got to be something with its country hosting the summer Olympics this year. They need to find some way to make the masses watch competitive golf, archery, cycling, swimming, dressage, speed walking, etc.

      Does science work better on Htrae?

      • anwahs

        Chris, it’s like arguing with the cast in

  • Bill Sanders

    Great satire article 🙂

  • 486DX50

    With one exception – Nina Morocco is not a “conspiracy theorist”. To call people “conspiracy theorists” only because you can’t prove them wrong is unprofessional.

    • Obviously you’re saying that because you’re a paid shill!

      • 486DX50

        I wish….. Seems like you never leave your cave and never observe the sky or you just can’t analyze anything, just choose to believe that nothing is going on.

        • Chris

          What color is the sky on Htrae? Does water actually condense there? Have you taken an aeronautics propulsion class? You know, like something I took to become an aerospace engineer.

          Did you know that the sound of speed in air is mostly dependent on air temperature? Well, I do. And now you do too because I just told you. How about that the air speed in the throat of certain type of jet engine will always be Mach 1? Cool! Right! You’d know that too if you had taken an aerospace propulsion class.

          But you did not. So sad. You are just depending on Google University to feed you silly videos to fuel your conspiracy theories. This includes believing pictures of nozzles being random chemicals instead of some very much needed fuel dumps.

          Sorry, sweetie, but those of us had have had to calculate how to land an aircraft safely know that weight is a very real issue, and that the easiest thing to dump is fuel. Would you rather we dump the cargo, which is often human beings? Are you willing to stand in line to jump out of plane to make sure it landed safety if that meant it did not have to dump fuel?

          By the way, the fuel tank in most commercial aircraft is in the wings. They have to put it somewhere.

          Would it hurt your brain to take some some basic science classes at a community college?

          • 486DX50

            Take your meds, buddy) and relax

          • Chris

            I see you are too dumb to realize that you were being told you are dumb. Wingtip vortices must really freak you out.

          • 486DX50

            No, I just don’t want to go that shit road down with you, you go alone, narcissistic scientist. I know how wingtip vortices look like and I know how long they could be in the air, so you keep your bullshit for your grandma, ok?

          • Chris

            Aw, poor baby. Can’t take reality so he acts out on a satire site.

          • 486DX50

            science my ass)) debunk this…
            Google “Water Resource Board cloud seeding” and find many official government web sites admitting that they conduct weather modification programs. I’ll help ya, here is the first one in the list:
            So who’s poor baby now? Awwww!!!

          • jemal

            of course they admit it the government has being attempting weather mod since the 50’s it’s no secret as you, yourself and your link say, doesn’t mean there’s anything sinister to it and this is a separate issue to contrails.Your link doesn’t prove any thing nefarious in the slightest

          • 486DX50

            I’m not saying it’s something sinister they do, neither I agree that they’re trying to reduce population, but there is one thing. If they can make money on it, they’ll do it. If cloud seeding cause a little harm to soil and people – that’s okay too, I guess, as far as their lawyers are at the wheel. How this works? In the same way products from China come to US – very few are checked if any at all until something causes serious illness or health problems. Innocent until proven guilty doesn’t mean all the products don’t have harmful substances that cause cancer, etc. Our system assumes all the products are clean until checked and proven otherwise. But it’s hard to prove, because lab analysis is needed, etc. The same with chemtrails/cloud_seeding – there is no study that suggests that cloud seeding doesn’t make any harm to individual health and immune system. In the grocery store you buy meat, it may contain bacteria, it may not – you don’t know until you feel sick or not well. In regards to cloud seeding/chemtrails – I just don’t like them doing anything with the sky. When they do cloud seeding – it is usually warmer, air is not fresh, not comfortable to breath, heavy head in the morning, etc. But I just amazed how many people trying to hide the obvious, don’t have a common sense and simply feel better living in denial.

          • Max McKenzie

            F#$% you are stupid. No one denies cloud seeding. But here’s the thing cloud seeding doesn’t leave trails and it’s at a lower altitude than contrails. Different phenomena.

          • Daris Darrison

            No, but wingnut vortices do.

          • Chris

            By the way, dear lurkers… the second video was an AWACS plane, an Air Force radar surveillance craft. Here is what the video said:

            The secret government has been spraying the skies throughout North
            America since late 1997 on an almost daily basis with substances that
            were first identified as “mystery contrails”, but later were dubbed
            “chemtrails” by investigative reporter and author William Thomas.

            Le sigh. That plane is just full of electronics, and entered service in 1977. In an effort to recruit engineering students to work for the Air Force, my classmates and I got pizza and a tour inside an AWACS plane. Many of the computer monitors were covered when we walked through. Unless you live near either of its stateside bases in Alaska or Oklahoma, you probably will not see this thing flying overhead.

          • Daris Darrison

            so you admit they got the “government” aspect right?

          • Karen Testa

            Oh dear. So you watched building 7 collapse after a few papers lit on fire… ? Muppet Springs to mind.

          • Not to mention tonnes of aerosolised jet fuel. That doesn’t burn very well, or very hotly does it?

          • Daris Darrison

            sound of speed?
            and now jet fuel is suddenly non-toxic?

            you may be able to land a plane safely…on Xbox.

          • Max McKenzie

            Oh you started a a sentence in lowercase. Nothing you say is relevant.

          • anwahs


          • Max McKenzie

            Perfect answer.. Ur obviously a shill

    • Chris

      “Nina Morocco is not a “conspiracy theorist”.”

      What is she then? From my experience she could not figure out this was a satire site even after being directed to it’s two line title, Are you this ‘nym’s new sock puppet?

      Because that sock puppet was dumber than a rock. Which by association also makes you dumber than a…. oh, we’ll let others fill in. Have fun!

      By the way, sweetie, this is a satire site… there are absolutely no claim to professionalism. If we see you are an idiot, we will call you out. And, sweetie, you are an absolute idiot if you expect anyone to prove a negative.

    • Jay Whitehouse

      She’s not a conspiracy theorist, she just has a theory that there is a conspiracy…. apparently it’s not the same thing.


  • Kathy

    LOL this is so funny

    • 655321

      Except that it’s not.

      • Kathy

        It’s satire. I think you missed the point.

        • 655321

          No, I caught the attempted satire in it, was pretty blatant, just not funny.

          • Kathy

            Where’s my tiny violin?

          • Missa Kane

            The chemtrails bring all the crazies to my yard
            And they’re like, “Science is hard!”
            And I’m like, “I could teach you, but YouTube videos are not allowed.”

        • Chris

          The numbered one does not like being the well deserved object of ridicule.

  • Martine Bouillir

    It’s satire guys…lol. However, plenty of half-truths in there no doubt!

  • I asked my doctor and he advised me to use the critical mind that nature and evolution has given me and I did. The result? This is a satire site and is good only for entertainment purposes. Rock on.

  • Well, hold on now. Maybe those cities used fluoridation, or consumed a higher-than-average per capita quantity of GM Corn Flakes, compared to the general population (of R.I., presumably). Both are well known, or suspected, of enhancing the effects of chemtrails. Also, R.I. is small in area, but contains 42 cities over 6k, so how do you isolate an experimental chemtrail? They’re going to need a fresh set of test kids.

    • Didaskalos


      • Jason Door

        please expand on chromium, ive heard of this too

  • Dear friends. I would like to share with you the petition to the European Parliament, for the stop of spriying in the skies of Europe. You can to sign in this link: We are more stronger if we are together. Thank you so much for you support from Madrid.

  • Mariano Castrillon

    Satirical satire?