Chemtrails may protect against vaccine injuries, study finds

Chemtrails may protect against vaccine injuries, study finds

PROVIDENCE, RI – In a new study coming out of Brown University, researchers concluded that being sprayed with chemtrails actually has a positive effect when it comes to vaccine injuries.

“We sprayed chemtrails over 3 different cities in Rhode Island and then followed children in those cities for 4 years,” said Dr. Frank Defano. “We saw a strikingly lower rate of vaccine injuries in the children from the chemtrail laden cities than the normal population.”

Science, Vaccines, Med School, SatireWhile not all the data are available from the study just yet, it appears as though only 20% of the children who were severely sprayed with chemtrails ended up developing autism after their vaccines; a much lower rate than the 80% who normally get autism from vaccines.

“We are very excited about our findings and are hoping to present the data at several international conferences this summer,” said Dr. Defano. “We really need to push governments to increase their chemtrail use. You know, for the kids.”

Conspiracy theorists are somewhat confused by the news, not knowing how to react.

“Chemtrails are poison and they are making millions of people sick!” said Nina Morocco, conspiracy theorist. “And vaccines are also toxic…and…well….they are both bad and we should stop both of them!”

Governments have been secretly spraying their own countries with toxic chemtrails for decades and it is only thanks to brave mavericks with the ability to make YouTube videos that the general population is finally being informed.

“Sheep, wake up, chemtrails, Monsanto, shills, do your research” said Morroco. Sage advice indeed.

 

  • JohnEffKerry

    Wake up sheeple! Big Pharma and Big Hydro continues the war against all of us! The obvious connection between chemtrails and vaccines is that they both contain DiHydrogen Monoxide!

    • Many people are persuaded to cover their bodies in di hydrogen monoxide, gargle with it, even put it in squeeze bottles and insert it into their nether cavities. And they all die .

      • JohnEffKerry

        Yes, they all die. We all die. Every single one of us. We all die because of Big Hydro and DiHydrogen Monoxide.
        That shit is in everything.

    • dratsab

      diHydrogenMonoxide (aka hydric acid) is so insidious it’s been found in large quantities in Antarctica. I know this to be 100% true because I’ve read it on the internet. I’ve also been hearing horror stories about people who inhaled this stuff and died!!

    • Ben Smith

      Just so you know, nobody’s every been persuaded by anything that started with “Wake up sheeple”.

      • JohnEffKerry

        Well thanks, Ben! Good to know! However, it looks like I awakened the sheeple in you. You took notice and now I hope you join the fight against the pernicious evil of DiHydrogen Monoxide. Do it for the children!

        • kellymbray

          Don’t wake up the Sheeple!!!!!

          http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wake_up_sheeple.png

        • anwahs

          Its hard not to take notice of complete imbeciles. You’re an anti vaxxer and yet you say “Do it for the children!” Do what? Give them measles, you sick bastard!

          “In 2000, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention declared that
          measles had finally been eliminated in the United States. It was a
          triumph—but it didn’t last. By 2014 there were 677 reported cases of the
          disease, the highest rate in 20 years.
          In 2015, there were 189 reported cases—low compared to 2014, but still
          outrageous considering there were zero cases 15 years earlier.
          Scientists attribute the unfortunate rise in measles and other infectious diseases to the growing number of parents who forgo or delay vaccinations for their children. People who abstain from vaccinations endanger the general population by weakening herd immunity, in which a highly immunized population protects against the spread of a disease. When less than 96 percent of a population is vaccinated, measles is more likely to spread to people who can’t be vaccinated for health reasons and to people who don’t develop full immunity even after being vaccinated. This means that we should all be frightened by the anti-vaxxer movement, even those of us who do vaccinate our children. But a new study funded by the National Institutes of Health indicates that the biggest victims of the anti-vaccine movement are the children of anti-vaxxers.”

          • JohnEffKerry

            Absolutely true! All of it! Vaccines contain DiHydrogen Monoxide. Would you deliberately put DiHydrogen Monoxide in your child?!

          • Deplorable me

            Oh I see… and the center of Disease Control has never been caught up in a conspiracy, lie, or caught destroying evidence? LOL!

    • anwahs

      good fukkin grief!

      • JohnEffKerry

        Hi! Are you just waking up?! Did you shower in DiHydrogen Monoxide?

    • Matt Flannery

      Shape up weeple! DHMO is coming for you

  • Don’t feed the madness!

  • All I can say is…

  • Clint Hamilton

    Who’s been chopping the “Onions” in here? This makes me cry it’s so lame.

  • Suspension of disbelief is essential if you want to be accepted in the modern church of state-sanctioned “science”. That means to never look up and never question financially conflicted corporations.

    • Chris

      Which state?

      Do we go with the laws of physics as outlined by Newton who was in what is now the UK, or always use the more detailed stuff from Einstein? Or the guys who want us to invest in cold fusion, perpetual motion or free energy machines?

      Which planes make better chemtrails? The ones made by Boeing or Airbus? Or maybe even Embraer? You know there has got to be something with its country hosting the summer Olympics this year. They need to find some way to make the masses watch competitive golf, archery, cycling, swimming, dressage, speed walking, etc.

      Does science work better on Htrae?

      • anwahs

        Chris, it’s like arguing with the cast in
        Idiocracy

  • Bill Sanders

    Great satire article 🙂

  • 486DX50

    With one exception – Nina Morocco is not a “conspiracy theorist”. To call people “conspiracy theorists” only because you can’t prove them wrong is unprofessional.

    • Obviously you’re saying that because you’re a paid shill!

      • 486DX50

        I wish….. Seems like you never leave your cave and never observe the sky or you just can’t analyze anything, just choose to believe that nothing is going on.
        https://youtu.be/dJrHaTsf5v0

        https://youtu.be/p7vEvRgCIM8

        • Chris

          What color is the sky on Htrae? Does water actually condense there? Have you taken an aeronautics propulsion class? You know, like something I took to become an aerospace engineer.

          Did you know that the sound of speed in air is mostly dependent on air temperature? Well, I do. And now you do too because I just told you. How about that the air speed in the throat of certain type of jet engine will always be Mach 1? Cool! Right! You’d know that too if you had taken an aerospace propulsion class.

          But you did not. So sad. You are just depending on Google University to feed you silly videos to fuel your conspiracy theories. This includes believing pictures of nozzles being random chemicals instead of some very much needed fuel dumps.

          Sorry, sweetie, but those of us had have had to calculate how to land an aircraft safely know that weight is a very real issue, and that the easiest thing to dump is fuel. Would you rather we dump the cargo, which is often human beings? Are you willing to stand in line to jump out of plane to make sure it landed safety if that meant it did not have to dump fuel?

          By the way, the fuel tank in most commercial aircraft is in the wings. They have to put it somewhere.

          Would it hurt your brain to take some some basic science classes at a community college?

          • 486DX50

            Take your meds, buddy) and relax

          • Chris

            I see you are too dumb to realize that you were being told you are dumb. Wingtip vortices must really freak you out.

          • 486DX50

            No, I just don’t want to go that shit road down with you, you go alone, narcissistic scientist. I know how wingtip vortices look like and I know how long they could be in the air, so you keep your bullshit for your grandma, ok?

          • Chris

            Aw, poor baby. Can’t take reality so he acts out on a satire site.

          • 486DX50

            science my ass)) debunk this…
            Google “Water Resource Board cloud seeding” and find many official government web sites admitting that they conduct weather modification programs. I’ll help ya, here is the first one in the list: http://cosb.countyofsb.org/pwd/pwwater.aspx?id=3740
            So who’s poor baby now? Awwww!!!

          • jemal

            of course they admit it the government has being attempting weather mod since the 50’s it’s no secret as you, yourself and your link say, doesn’t mean there’s anything sinister to it and this is a separate issue to contrails.Your link doesn’t prove any thing nefarious in the slightest

          • 486DX50

            I’m not saying it’s something sinister they do, neither I agree that they’re trying to reduce population, but there is one thing. If they can make money on it, they’ll do it. If cloud seeding cause a little harm to soil and people – that’s okay too, I guess, as far as their lawyers are at the wheel. How this works? In the same way products from China come to US – very few are checked if any at all until something causes serious illness or health problems. Innocent until proven guilty doesn’t mean all the products don’t have harmful substances that cause cancer, etc. Our system assumes all the products are clean until checked and proven otherwise. But it’s hard to prove, because lab analysis is needed, etc. The same with chemtrails/cloud_seeding – there is no study that suggests that cloud seeding doesn’t make any harm to individual health and immune system. In the grocery store you buy meat, it may contain bacteria, it may not – you don’t know until you feel sick or not well. In regards to cloud seeding/chemtrails – I just don’t like them doing anything with the sky. When they do cloud seeding – it is usually warmer, air is not fresh, not comfortable to breath, heavy head in the morning, etc. But I just amazed how many people trying to hide the obvious, don’t have a common sense and simply feel better living in denial.

          • Keldroc

            Trails in the sky are not making you sick. They’re water vapor. Your inability to distinguish fantasy from reality, while tragic, doesn’t make anything outside of your own head true. And if you’re wondering how I could possibly tell you have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality, I picked that up due to the fact that you don’t seem to know that the Nina Morocco quoted in this satire article is a fictional character.

          • 486DX50

            They are not water vapor. They are silver iodide. You have nothing to support your comment. I have tons of information including existing patents and on-going weather modification projects listed on government websites))) Now go back to school and do your assignments.

          • Well, if it’s silver, it’s all good anyway, right? It has antibacterial properties and so on, and people drink silver solutions and swear by them for all kinds of reasons. There we go, sorted!

          • 486DX50

            You writing like I said that it’s a good thing… I didn’t and I hate weather modification projects, whether they bring us rain or drought.

          • Matthew

            Cloud seeding is in fact a science, and is used to initiate rain where it might not otherwise. “The most common chemicals used for cloud seeding include silver iodide, potassium iodide and dry ice (solid carbon dioxide). Liquid propane, which expands into a gas, has also been used. This can produce ice crystals at higher temperatures than silver iodide.” That is not however what the common fruitcake is referring to when they bleat on about the NWO and Mind Control or other nonsense.

          • 486DX50

            Well, then I’m not one of them either) But still, I don’t like when different group of scientists making experiments over population to later find out they were wrong.

          • Deplorable me

            Oh reeeeeally? Maybe you should go view President Obama’s press briefing where he stated that there is no NWO coming, Global government is here to stay. Why don’t you try to look that one up, as well as what Bush Jr, Sr, and Clinton has said about it. You are very mistaken.

          • Matthew

            I’m pretty sure you are in the wrong discussion…. Cloud Seeding is real, been practices for a long time. “Chemtrails”, (better knows as contrails) or at least what the Tinfoil Hat Brigade foams on about, are nonsense. What i was referring to are all the absurd conspiracies the THB attribute to “Chemtrails”, hence the article at the top.

          • Max McKenzie

            F#$% you are stupid. No one denies cloud seeding. But here’s the thing cloud seeding doesn’t leave trails and it’s at a lower altitude than contrails. Different phenomena.

          • Daris Darrison

            No, but wingnut vortices do.

          • Chris

            By the way, dear lurkers… the second video was an AWACS plane, an Air Force radar surveillance craft. Here is what the video said:

            The secret government has been spraying the skies throughout North
            America since late 1997 on an almost daily basis with substances that
            were first identified as “mystery contrails”, but later were dubbed
            “chemtrails” by investigative reporter and author William Thomas.

            Le sigh. That plane is just full of electronics, and entered service in 1977. In an effort to recruit engineering students to work for the Air Force, my classmates and I got pizza and a tour inside an AWACS plane. Many of the computer monitors were covered when we walked through. Unless you live near either of its stateside bases in Alaska or Oklahoma, you probably will not see this thing flying overhead.

          • Daris Darrison

            so you admit they got the “government” aspect right?

          • Karen Testa

            Oh dear. So you watched building 7 collapse after a few papers lit on fire… ? Muppet Springs to mind.

          • Not to mention tonnes of aerosolised jet fuel. That doesn’t burn very well, or very hotly does it?

          • Ryan

            Blacksmith at a medieval “faire”. Oh well why didn’t you say so case closed. What brought down building 7 genius? Desk fires? Wait, it a medieval blacksmith.

          • Daris Darrison

            sound of speed?
            and now jet fuel is suddenly non-toxic?

            you may be able to land a plane safely…on Xbox.

          • Max McKenzie

            Oh you started a a sentence in lowercase. Nothing you say is relevant.

          • Norm Bastien

            3 sentences started in lower case. AND one of those sentences started with “and”.
            Ask me. I know. I read it…errr…. them.

          • anwahs

            lolll

          • Max McKenzie

            Perfect answer.. Ur obviously a shill

        • Deplorable me

          The government has been using it for decades it’s called Weather Warfare. The MSM even covered it not too long ago saying that the government has said they hope to have complete control of the weather by 2025. No, we are ignorant ones…. Eye roll. People are ignorant and programmed by their TV and that’s not funny.

    • Chris

      “Nina Morocco is not a “conspiracy theorist”.”

      What is she then? From my experience she could not figure out this was a satire site even after being directed to it’s two line title, Are you this ‘nym’s new sock puppet?

      Because that sock puppet was dumber than a rock. Which by association also makes you dumber than a…. oh, we’ll let others fill in. Have fun!

      By the way, sweetie, this is a satire site… there are absolutely no claim to professionalism. If we see you are an idiot, we will call you out. And, sweetie, you are an absolute idiot if you expect anyone to prove a negative.

    • Jay Whitehouse

      She’s not a conspiracy theorist, she just has a theory that there is a conspiracy…. apparently it’s not the same thing.

      Moron

    • Jon Elder

      People are called “conspiracy theorists” because they can’t prove what they are trying to sell as truth. I think you have the whole deal wrong……Those making extraordinary statements bare(?) the burden of proof. You sound like a true believer….(religitard)

    • Rich Comito

      Science as a whole enjoys insulting peoples intel for simply wanting actual proof of say the missing link, or why adding aluminium by products to drinking water is good for teeth, or how men in a tin capsule traversed to the moon and back without any sheilding from the VanAllen belts(something they are still testing for). Scientism combined with bill Nye the mechanical engineer guy have become the new cult of personality.
      RFB

  • Kathy

    LOL this is so funny

    • 655321

      Except that it’s not.

      • Kathy

        It’s satire. I think you missed the point.

        • 655321

          No, I caught the attempted satire in it, was pretty blatant, just not funny.

          • Kathy

            Where’s my tiny violin?

          • Missa Kane

            The chemtrails bring all the crazies to my yard
            And they’re like, “Science is hard!”
            And I’m like, “I could teach you, but YouTube videos are not allowed.”

          • Deplorable me

            That’s right, because truth is not allowed. Specially when you can find doctors, scientist, former government employees with their own channels telling you that it’s true.

        • Chris

          The numbered one does not like being the well deserved object of ridicule.

  • Martine Bouillir

    It’s satire guys…lol. However, plenty of half-truths in there no doubt!

  • I asked my doctor and he advised me to use the critical mind that nature and evolution has given me and I did. The result? This is a satire site and is good only for entertainment purposes. Rock on.

  • Well, hold on now. Maybe those cities used fluoridation, or consumed a higher-than-average per capita quantity of GM Corn Flakes, compared to the general population (of R.I., presumably). Both are well known, or suspected, of enhancing the effects of chemtrails. Also, R.I. is small in area, but contains 42 cities over 6k, so how do you isolate an experimental chemtrail? They’re going to need a fresh set of test kids.

    • Didaskalos

      Chromium

      • Jason Door

        please expand on chromium, ive heard of this too

        • Rich Paul

          It’s a version of Google Chrome. Nice browser.

          • utak3r

            Wrong, it’s a weaker version of adamantium.

    • Icebiker3

      I volunteer all my nieces and nephews, and I will even throw in a brother-in-law.

    • Bradley Temperley

      Dan, you’ve got to go into hiding now! Trust no-one; especially not me.

  • Dear friends. I would like to share with you the petition to the European Parliament, for the stop of spriying in the skies of Europe. You can to sign in this link: https://secure.avaaz.org/es/petition/Parlamento_Europeo_Inmediato_cese_de_fumigaciones_clandestinas_de_Geoingenieria_climatica/ We are more stronger if we are together. Thank you so much for you support from Madrid.

  • Mariano Castrillon

    Satirical satire?

    • Bradley Temperley

      No, it’s truthy truthiness!

      • Mariano Castrillon

        Nice one.

  • nrbrk

    That ain’t fairy dust they’re sprayin’!

    • Rich Paul

      That’s homophobic!

      • Icebiker3

        Don’t you mean Homeophobic?

  • William

    Poor Chemtards

  • Icebiker3

    Ahhhhhh, the truth is sweet!

  • cooldiscodon

    Lies! Lies! All LIES! Chemtrail lies, vaccine lies, homeopathy lies, and the biggest lies of all, atoms! That’s right, ATOMS! Science has proven that atoms MAKE UP EVERYTHING!

    • Edward Gee

      Even anti-matter?

  • Michael Poling

    Its funny how a lot of commenters think this is actually a real article…lol

    • mspadorchard

      I did not know it was satire… although it clearly was fake, until I went back and saw the small “satire” in the header. Before that I searched Frank Defano… found nothing and went back to the article. You would be surprised how many Rns are convinced that vaccines are the main cause of autism. And there is no a well known Md who has written a book stating the same, although the current evidence suggests that not to be true.

      • Angus Matheson

        Antivax is rife amongst RNs. It’s a disaster. I run a social engineering collective where we hack/exploit the willingness of these dipshits to brag about faking their vaccine credentials to then bring proof to their employers and get their fucking asses fired. Midwives as well.

        • FallsAngel

          Lots of engineers are anti-vax as well. There are many pro-vax RNs, probably more than engineers.

          • JoeFarmer

            While I don’t doubt your observation, I wonder why that is.

            I started out as a civil engineer, btw. Maybe because engineering curricula are long on physical sciences and pretty short on life sciences has something to do with it?

          • FallsAngel

            I think that’s part of it.

      • Harlequin

        Satire notices are usually at the bottom of Web pages, if not on a separate ‘About’ page. I looked below and read the ‘All stories are made up. Seriously.’ on the bottom left.

    • RootlessCosmopolitan

      Well, either funny or tragic. Take your pick.

      • Chris

        Well, it is not an intelligence test because even bright folks can be fooled. It is a test on how diligent they are on actually checking out claims. For this page you just need to look at the words under the blog title (satire!). All we can assume for those who believe this is not satire is that they both credulous and lazy.

  • daysofdissent

    Poe’s law is an Internet adage that states that, without a clear indicator of the author’s intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers or viewers as a sincere expression of the parodied views. 😉

    • seriously, do you really need a “clear indicator” for this article?

      • utak3r

        You clearly don’t know internet people, do you? I’m pretty sure he’s right, there will be tons of people who will take it as granted.

        • incubus664

          Waiting for Trump to tweet this as Science news.

  • bev

    I hope this is fake news, because no one wants to be sprayed with chemicals.

    • Angus Matheson

      It’s PARODY. You dumb fuck.

      • Heard_It_All_Before

        I will go with it being SATIRE.

      • Deplorable me

        It doesn’t matter! You are missing the point of it being a cruel joke. You are the DF!

    • IMtheEggman

      “Science, Health, and Satire” read the title. Just read, period.

  • B Alan

    Most people don’t realize that chemtrails were originally created during WW2. Back then they were called contrails, for Concentrated Aerial Delivery. The compound, one of the first was engineered by a partnership between Dow Chemical and Nobel Enterprises and Royal Dutch Shell and funded by the OSS, (the precursor to the CIA.) One of the first GMO’s it was a natural compound that when combined with petroleum distillates binds to the pleasure receptors of the brain. The idea was to make both Germany and Japan into more pacifist societies, and for the last 70 years, they have been. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ae9a61670a4cefcbb67788df4e71c30b73b0cde1084a0e638010873b81f7096b.jpg

    • B Alan Alford

      To make both Germany and Japan into more pacifist societies.

    • Peter Brierley

      B Alan, were you born Stupid, or did you get intensive lessons?

    • IMtheEggman

      You are joking, right? If not, you’re a conspiracy theorist fool.

    • Rich Comito

      Your absolutely right, but its hard to explain to people that believe CERN is simply and only spending trillions to recreate a theoretical happening, and the photo used in this satirical article is simple normal condensation coming from either a zero emmision pratt and whitney or rolls royce turbo jet engine, why you fool get back to your thimerisol laced vaccines and enjoy your science enhanced corn. SMh the nerve of some to question a science posting or science at all for that matter.

  • Fred

    I’m pretty sure this is a joke post.

    • Michael Sullivan

      Given that “Science. Health. Satire.” is the site’s tagline, I think you might have stumbled on to something there.

      • Michael S said, “Given that “Science. Health. Satire.” is the site’s tagline, …”

        Almost as if the site’s title is like the Rosetta Stone.

  • Jay Vennebush

    This is not marked as satire? It should be.

    • Chris

      Go to top of page, read the blog title. Next read the three words under the main title. What is the third word?

  • Jay Vennebush

    People believe this stuff.

  • The voice

    Satire or not
    Ingredients in vaccines
    Tdap vaccine (Adacel) Aluminum phosphate, ammonium sulfate, formaldehyde, glutaraldehyde, 2-phenoxyethanol
    DTaP (Infanrix) Aluminum hydroxide, bovine extract, formaldehyde, glutaraldhyde, polysorbate 80
    Influenza vaccines
    Beta-propiolactone, calcium chloride, dibasic sodium phosphate, egg
    protein, monobasic potassium phosphate, monobasic sodium phosphate,
    neomycin sulfate, polymyxin B, potassium chloride, sodium
    taurodeoxychoalate, thimerosal (multi-dose vials only)

    Ingredients used for GEOENGINEERING
    Dimethyl sulfide highly flammable and irritant to eyes and skin. It is harmful if swallowed and has an unpleasant odor at even extremely low concentrations. Its ignition temperature is 205 °C.
    Sulfur dioxide Inhaling sulfur dioxide is associated with increased respiratory
    symptoms and disease, difficulty in breathing, and premature death
    Carbonyl sulfide As of 1994, limited information existed on the acute toxicity of carbonyl sulfide in humans and in animals.[2] High concentrations (>1000 ppm) can cause sudden collapse, convulsions, and death from respiratory paralysis.[1][2] Occasional fatalities have been reported, practically without local irritation or olfactory warning.[2] In tests with rats, 50% animals died when exposed to 1400 ppm of COS for 90 minutes, or at 3000 ppm for 9 minutes.

    So all you morons keep breathing very deeply and keep injecting this crap into your children and your childrens children and when you get sick and die who will have the last laugh
    Probably all the nitwits that work for the science post

    • Jan Magne Skaue

      Did you know water contains Oxygen, a potent poison for humans? Its everywhere around you – hell, its even in the air innocent children breathe! And nitrogen! Have you seen what happens to living tissue when exposed to liquid nitrogen?? Its horrid! Seriously. If you don’t understand (bio)chemistry, just staph. You’re only hurting your mind, and by propregation of dangerous fallacies, murdering children.

      • The voice

        Sounds like your mind is already seriously poisoned

    • Chris

      oooooh! Chemicals… and egg. Scary! Oh, and “bovine extract.” So you hate beef stock too!? Wait! My stepmom used potassium chloride as a salt substitute due to her genetic form of hypertension.

      So exactly how are those things, which include stuff that naturally occurs in food more dangerous than influenza, diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis? Just post the PubMed indexed studies by reputable qualified researchers.

      “High concentrations”

      Uh, huh. So exactly where is geoengineering occurring and by what entities? Provide links to verifiable documentation (preferably from an official federal website from the authorizing nation).

      • The voice

        Look it up for yourself. But it seems it wont do you any good because you are too brainwashed to believe it

        • Chris

          Awww… someone doesn’t have actual evidence to back up their silly fear of food!

          • The voice

            So bovine extract is food then? as well as Aluminum phosphate, ammonium sulfate, Aluminum hydroxide and formaldehyde. Wow you really are brain dead aren’t you

          • Chris

            Bovine extract is basically thick beef stock. I make it in my kitchen and use it for cooking. There is a form that is put into petri dishes for biology experiment. The biggest difference between what we used in 8th grade science class and what I make in my kitchen is that I also add veggies and herbs. I do still cook it down until it forms a gel called glace de viande, because it less takes up less room in the freezer and some recipes like certain steak sauces call for it.

            Formaldehyde is part of cell metabolism, and there is more in a pear than in any vaccine. The rest are found in soil, and some are used as antacid, baking powder, provide acidity to baked goods, and for water treatment.

            Are you sure you know how to use Wikipedia? Have you ever taken biology, chemistry or even cooking classes? Or do you just believe every silly thing you read on credulous websites?

          • Simba

            Ask your grandmother. She’ll tell you about this wonderful thing called ‘stock’. Formaldehyde and aluminium occur naturally in pears, do you think pears are therefore not food?

            Did you just see the long word and completely not realize what ‘beef extract’ is?

            Where is your evidence that any if these things are harmful in the amounts used in vaccines? If you had that evidence you wouldn’t need to rely on a silly argument like ‘well beef stock sounds scary!’

      • The voice

        Just look it up on Wikipedia under geoengineering all the sources are listed unless you want me to do that for you too since it seems you are too lazy and dumbfounded to look it up yourself

        • Chris

          Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. You make the claim, you come up with the evidence. Arguments by blatant assertion are frowned upon, and actively laughed at.

          You have just proven that you still have nothing!

          • Deplorable me

            Actually you just showed your ignorance and many people are shaking their heads in silence at the disbelief of how lazy and ignorant you are. The only thing you have is your ignorant smart-ass comments . if you think that makes you look intellectually, superior, you are dumber than your post.

          • Simba

            Wait, so Chris has “showed their ignorance” by accurately pointing out that you are shying away from providing evidence and instead have to resort to insults?
            Speaking as someone who has just read the conversation, I do not think you can honestly believe that Chris is the one we will think looks lazy.
            It speaks volumes that you are still incapable of providing good evidence for your claims.

            Nice try at dodging her question though. I’ll repost it here. Maybe “many people are shaking their heads in silence” that you thought you could dodge that easily!

            “So exactly how are those things, which include stuff that naturally occurs in food more dangerous than influenza, diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis? Just post the PubMed indexed studies by reputable qualified researchers”

          • Deplorable me

            The last part of your comment, did I say that? No, obviously you like pretend that I did, or you are confused to whom said what. It’s not like there isn’t a mass amount of information on web by qualified scientist, doctors, and people in the medical field, from around the world. With people like you, it doesn’t matter what I would post, you wouldn’t believe it, so why waste my time? I mention it for those who want to know, hoping they will go look for themselves. You didn’t prove a thing & what you think of me… Pfff. You are sadly mistaken and it’s not my job to do your homework for you. I’ve been searching this information for over 20 years. Just like you, I didn’t believe it and I laughed. Instead of your ignorance and insults, maybe you should spend time checking it out before limits of what you can research is severely limited or did you not know that was going on as well?

          • Simba

            I have researched it. I used to be antivaccine until I looked into it and found how laughable the claims were, how poor the evidence, that the crappy studies were mostly poorly conducted/tiny/fraudulent/in animals, and how the supporters seemed to KNOW they were unable to substantiate their claims, since they so often refused to provide evidence or provided terrible evidence. Once you read the actual evidence the claims fall apart. That’s how I know you are wrong.
            I had mistaken you for ‘The Voice’, you can see in the comment that I explicitly attribute that comment to Chris- not to you.

          • Simba

            Looking at both of your comment histories I can see Chris uses fact and cites sources. I can see that you don’t seem to like doing either, just insults and silly attempts at evasion like ‘look for yourself’. It appears to be pretty obvious which one has done their research.

        • Simba

          Lol. The page “on Wikipedia under geoengineering” is a disambiguation page- there is no ‘geoengineering’ page. The one you are thinking of is ‘climate engineering’.

          None of the 82 sources, on a quick look, seem to relate to Chris’ question (“So exactly where is geoengineering occurring and by what entities?
          Provide links to verifiable documentation (preferably from an official
          federal website from the authorizing nation”)., unless of course you can now show that! The Wiki article has literally no section on current use of geoengineering- just on discussion of possible future use.

          You didn’t even look it up yourself before using it as a piss-poor half-hearted cite, did you?

          ‘Dumbfounded’ does not mean what you think it does. It’s not a synonym for ‘dumb’. It means ‘astonished’. Ironic given the context in which you used it, eh? I mean you were ignorant of its meaning and apparently too lazy to look it up…

      • Deplorable me

        I bet you believe The one world government, religion, and cashless Society is all a big farce too! “Obama declared in his last press briefing One World Global Government is not coming, it is here and here to stay.” You don’t know about all the issues with the Gardasil vaccine and what has happened to many young women around the world? You don’t know about the countries that have made it illegal and the lawsuits going on ? You don’t see Robert De Niro getting kicked by his own for coming out about vaccines? People are amazingly so ignorant. You know sometimes instead of being a bunch of jerks maybe you should actually look at the links that someone shows you and do the research for yourself, as that is the only way you were going to know. Yes you’re going to go down a lot of rabbit holes, but you know what? Research takes more than 5 seconds or 5 minutes. It takes hours, days, weeks, and months, years to get to truth. Don’t use Google. Do you remember when they admitted at one time if they work for the government? Of course not you believe and swallow holy whatever you’re told. Time to disconnect from the TV programming box and get back to reality.

        • Chris

          Why do you think insults are a valid substitute for verifiable evidence?

          • Deplorable me

            Sorry the truth hurts. I’m sorry that I’ve went through this whole post and seeing where several people have offered you evidence and you still claim that it’s not true. Maybe that means you’re one of those paid, what are they call them? Shills? This whole thread is full of your insults maybe need to face the mirror instead of pointing the finger. Your argument is void.

          • Chris

            Really? You’re funny. Perhaps you should loosen that tin foil hat.

    • FallsAngel

      No, it’s you guys who think it’s funny for people to die of vaccine-preventable diseases.

      • The voice

        If vaccines prevent disease why are our lifespans getting shorter and disease and cancer and autism is on the rise.

        • FallsAngel

          Because that’s untrue.

        • Simba

          *citation needed*

          Stop uncritically repeating what you read on the internet. Wake up. Think about it. Check for yourself.

          I spent an interesting morning this week volunteering/visiting in a care facility for the elderly. You know who I met? Some of those elderly people with disabilities and autism that you guys keep trying to pretend did not exist. People with autism and down’s syndrome are now around, living in the community, not shut away in care places where we can all conveniently ignore them. So people like you think that the elderly with disabilities and autism do not exist. Go to a graveyard with older graves. Check out the tombstones. Check out your local town’s history and your family history. Find the women who died in childbirth, the kids who died young who no-one ever really talked about etc. Our lifespans are not ‘getting shorter’, disease is not ‘on the rise’, and the only way you could think that is if you had never bothered to check.

    • Simba

      So… ‘high concentrations’ of the things you are afraid of cause convulsion, collapse, and extremely unpleasant odours at low doses. And you conveniently ‘forget’ to mention what concentrations people are routinely exposed to. Funny that.

      *walks outside. Sniffs air.* Nope, no dimethyl sulfide smell.

      You realize that your own statements are arguing that ‘breathing very deeply’ isn’t actually harmful, right?

      Got anything to show that ‘geoengineering’ is currently harming people? That vaccines are harming people more than the diseases they prevent?

  • C Cassidy

    “Vaccine Injuries” is a term I have not encountered before, so thank you for that, and also thank you for clarifying the exact percentage of children who are injured by the vaccines both before and after being “severely sprayed with chemtrails”. A couple of points are unclear though; How did you obtain permission from the parents of the Rhode Island children to carry out an experiment in which you injected dangerous chemicals into their children in the form of vaccines to see how many would be autistic? and the same question for part 2 where you then doused the vaccinated children with heavy metals and harmful chemicals to see what would happen next.
    In the interest of transparency I request that you release a full and comprehensive report detailing specifically, the name of the experiment – both the first part – Vaccines, and the second, The effect of chemtrails on previously toxicated children, and the participants in it’s execution, i.e., companies, governing bodies etc, and their involvement at every level – As well as a complete list of the chemicals and heavy metals which were used and the details of other ares which have been, or are scheduled to be experimented on in this way. As you are now able to say that 80% of children will suffer from “vaccine injuries” in the form of autism and others (who have not also been saturated in chemtrails), will parents now be told this before they vaccinate their children?

    • Chris

      Go to the top of this page. Read the main title, then read the three word under that. What is the definition of the third words.

      Then go to the bottom of this page. Read the sentence on the bottom right. What does it mean?

      • jemimapuddleduck77

        🙂 oh bugger..yes, yes, I saw that at the bottom and I thought it meant … AND satire. Yeah it got me… But honestly would not surprise anyone if that was a real now would it?

        • jemimapuddleduck77

          Priceless 🙂

  • Kim

    You know it is really sad that you are finally admitting that A: Those stripes in the skies are chemicals B: That vaccines do cause harm C: You really think this makes it all better and that people are seriously going to believe this bullshit? Think about it, chem (chemicals) trails and following children? What did you have those children pegged for four years? Does chemicals in our atmosphere even sound like that could possibly do any good? This is complete and utter shock to see that you would think if anything this even sounds remotely just and by the way, I will pray that God have mercy on everyone’s soul who find this article as true and informatory.

    • Chris

      Go to the top of this page. Read the main title, then read the three
      word under that. What is the definition of the third words.

      Then go to the bottom of this page. Read the sentence on the bottom right. What does it mean?

  • Bill Amis

    Since this article is bogus propaganda, how about something real. Anyone know Dead Can Dance?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbNON61f6VI

    In times of great vexation when one must choose
    between what’s right and wrong
    Freedom, so they say, amounts to the choices
    you have made.
    Through all the arbitrary rationale concerning
    liberty.
    Freedom, I must say, exists within unconditioned
    minds.

    Reason has come of age.
    How can you be
    satisfied with things the way they are,
    When all that surrounds us now and so
    much more remains inside the keeper’s dark embrace.
    The insatiable thirst for
    power has made;

    Idols out of mortals,
    Gods into
    clay,
    Soldiers into heroes,
    Children into slaves of damned
    desire,

    Their hopes betrayed.
    Who will suffer their
    laws that say you can’t decide
    Your child’s education unless you pay the
    price.
    Who will suffer the laws

    Who will suffer their minds
    Who will suffer
    their words
    Who will suffer their designs.

    • Chris

      It is satire… lots of followers are laughing at you. Deal with it.

      • Bill Amis

        How do you like this band from the early 80’s?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSVntbctBh0&index=7&list=PLQJ-H2JR5KwxXl1KF8XlqR3AZV7rJ2ItV

        In the hour of darkness our worlds
        collide.
        Assailed by a madness that has plagued our lives.
        At the point of
        departure on the eve despair’
        No recourse to reason seems to make any sense
        at all.

        The light of hope shines in your
        eyes.
        Dementia has gone, purged from inside.
        Throughout our wanderings in
        a land of lies.
        We fell from gods grace into a sea of storms.

        In self renovation, celebration of
        love.
        These both are virtues we seem to have left behind.
        The light of
        hope shines in your eyes.
        Dementia has gone purged from
        inside.

        Lay down your heart. Induce the will of
        love.
        To restore what little faith that you may have lost.
        As morning
        brings rebirth a new day will dawn to ease our troubled minds.
        Turn away on
        your side and dream of days to come.

  • Dana Elizabeth Newton
    • Jenny H

      LOL!!

    • Impressive video – a very compelling demonstration of the makers’ failure to comprehend a single one of the words they use in the title.

  • Dana Elizabeth Newton
  • Broad Sword

    That’s Great! Geo-engineering counters effects of vaccines. Too bad the Barium, Strontium, and Aluminium will kill everyone instead! These psychopaths are destroying the entire planet – the inhabitants and plantlife.

  • Deplorable me

    This is a pretty despicable post. Making fun of people who have gotten autism through vaccines. I guess you forgot the numbers have been multiplying. Too bad for you that the sheep have woken up and they can see through your little article. Chemtrails, geo- engineering, weather modification, cloud seeding, weather Warfare. How many more times do you guys going to change the name & think that we can’t keep up? Just remember this affects you too you laughing hyenas. Willing to destroy the world and all Humanity, for what?

    • Edward Gee

      I will personally and publicly make fun of every single child who has ever contracted Autism form being vaccinated. We could have a competition. You go first, or should I?

      Now all we have to do is locate our first kid.

      • Ryan

        Hilarious 😂

      • Deplorable me

        Actually it is quite hilarious. Maybe you try something called research… It’s not like it doesn’t exist. But you go on with your bad self & smart-ass comments. Assholes always get likes, from other assholes.

    • Jenny H

      No,. My Nephew obviously had autism at birth.
      But I think you are right — vaccines interfere with natural selection. We should let all the ignorant parents’ kids die of these diseases and it would improve the average intelligence of the community!

      • Ryan

        Wow I hope your kids aren’t born with any diseases. Obviously, that’s not what I wanted to say to you, you deplorable human being. If you went to war and served your country you wouldn’t talk about death like that.

        • Jenny H

          Ah, well. If they can’t kill off all the morons by letting them refuse to vaccinate their kids, they can send the rest off to fight wars in foreign countries and brain wash the poor suckers into thinking that by killing people in a foreign country they are (somehow) ‘serving their country. rather that helping the armaments industry make lots of lovely money so they can become rich enough o run for President of the USA. 🙂

      • Deplorable me

        I’m sorry about your nephew having autism.

    • Citizen Five

      No one has “gotten autism through vaccines,” so this piece of satire isn’t making fun of anyone, except people like you.

      • Deplorable me

        Durrrrr… okay dummy… Keep slurping up the poison.

      • Deplorable me

        Do you realize how stupid your comment is? Maybe you should go reread what I said. You received 5 updates… So that means the grand total is 6 ignorant fools. Just because you’re devoid of being able to be a free thinker, don’t think that your smart ass comment doesn’t reflect that fact.

        • Citizen Five

          You seem like the kind of person who believes everything you watch on YouTube and who thinks that “devoid of being able” is grammatically correct and smart-sounding. Just say “unable” next time, ok?

          The fact hat that you couldn’t tell that this story was was satire in the first place is even funnier than the story itself.

          • Deplorable me

            I’m sorry that you missed the point of me saying that it wasn’t funny to joke about. Next time make sure to wear your dunce hat and we won’t have to waste time reading your post.

          • Citizen Five

            When someone who believes in chemtrails calls me a dummy, I take it as a compliment.

    • You have tipped your hand – the government will be right along with their thought modifiers. You can protect yourself from mind control rays with an aluminium foil deflector beanie, but you need to hurry.

      • Deplorable me

        Very ignorant post, but hey… says a lot about you. You obviously don’t read much.

        • D. Fitz

          It’s not necessarily how much you read but the quality of what you read
          that matters. You made some interesting claims in your original post
          (e.g. vaccination causing autism, weather warfare(?), chemtrails),
          please support them with observational evidence if you intend to be
          regarded as sane.

          • Deplorable me

            I don’t waste my time with people like you anymore. I bring the subject up, it’s your job to educate yourself. For God sakes…. The government doesn’t hide it from you. It’s called Weather warfare, Chem trails, weather modification, etc.

            I guess you have not heard that Hollywood is talking about about the vaccines…. maybe now it will believable to you. Weather warfare has been around for more than 50 years.

            If you don’ t think I’m sane, that’s OK… there are plenty that think you are still in the dark. The best way to be sure of something is to investigate that takes more than a visit to Snopes hun. It takes years.. You have a lot of catching up to do on both subjects.

          • Chris

            “… it’s your job to educate yourself.:

            So what are the verifiable sources? Just list them so that we may become more enlightened.

          • Deplorable me

            Listen troll, get off Google and search for it… It’s not hard to find.

          • Chris

            Snicker. So you have absolutely nothing. That is hilarious.

            The true positive test of the “believer troll”, that they insist you “search” for the “evidence” of whatever idiocy they are promoting.

          • Simba

            You made the claims, you provide the evidence.

            I have searched for it, I’ve found you are dead wrong. More than that- I’ve seen the 80 year olds with nonverbal autism you guys like to pretend do not exist. Maybe try doing some actual research and then you’d have evidence to bring in these situations rather than getting caught out and having to make silly excuses.

            Really? “Hollywood is talking about the vaccines” is your version of ‘evidence’? Snort. That’s hilarious. Gossip mags as science, is that really what you mean?

          • David T-Rex

            dont you think you are very two faced and hypercritical demanding others to google and search for themselves when (looking at your profile) you replied
            “Deplorable me > Strongs119 9 hours ago
            I know that King was no saint was no Saint. If you can provide links to these FBI claims, I would love to read it.”

            So you demand proof when it suits you and tell others to do their own work when you know you are full of shit.

          • Simba

            Funny how Brave Sir Robin runs away. Plenty of time to post many many comments and screeds. No time to post a single shred of evidence. Hmmmm.

          • D. Fitz

            Your proposition that it’s for someone else to substantiate your claims
            (“I bring the subject up, it’s your job to educate yourself.”) is
            the antithesis of the scientific method in the most fundamental way;
            you falter at the very first step of presenting systematic
            observation, presenting mere unsubstantiated
            supposition instead. Your claims are therefore no different from someone
            who’d insist that at the end of every rainbow is a leprechaun with a
            pot of gold.

  • Paul Isemonger

    Please remove the word science from ‘Science Post’. We will be left with a more honest description of this site.

    • Chris

      Perhaps you should learn how to check if something you read is actually true. Don’t just blindly follow a link you see posted on social media. Do some looking for clues like what is written under the name of the blog title.

    • FallsAngel

      It’s fun! It’s satire about science!

  • Ryan

    Are you guys serious? So this isn’t a serious site then, ok good to know.

    This is a science site like Wikipedia is a research site. Science Post or The Onion it’s all the same

  • Ryan

    Karmas a bitch

  • Mike Wicks

    what’s more ignorant? the article or the people commenting in it. I mean just wow. right there in the header in big bold you can’t miss print “SCIENCE, HEALTH, SATIRE” if you took english in school (I remember it being required in the 70’s) then you know that means SATIRE about science and health. this IS the funny pages. its a joke, for fun site like the ONION. but then the comments….let the debunking begin! first vaccines DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM. the study in europe that made that claim was done by a quack doc (finished his doctorate 2 years late with a c- average) who was PAID to produce those results by a group that wanted to blame autism on something they could sue. the study had no peer review and was debunked by the entire science community and the doctor discredited and stripped of his doctorate. but you sheep just want to believe so badly that you can blame something for one of the first real scientific discoveries called natural selection. autism is no more prevalent today then it was a thousand years ago. just we in recent years began to understand it and the more we learn the more we discover how broad the autism spectrum is. I was born with fairly severe autism and an extra Y chromosome, a trait most commonly connected with down’s syndrome, I was lucky. autism is just as much a gift as it is my disability. I can just pick up and play any musical instrument and take in massive amounts of information and retain it and process it in my head. yet my social ability is awkward and crippling. I want close friends that stay away from me and I say and do offensive and inappropriate things every day and at the worst times without any real control. but understanding my autism has helped me move in to the high functioning range of the spectrum, only took 40 years. so I do know alot about it. the next debunk is chemtrails. the USGS ran a 9 month cloud seeding experiment in 1978-79 to see if they could force rainfall from storm clouds before arriving at the midwest croplands to prevent crop damage. and yes it produced rain, rain that destroyed the soil they were trying to save. turns out aluminium oxide and borosilicate are bad for crops and soil, lakes, ponds, and rivers. today the sky stripes you see are just water vapor from air condensation on the leading edge of the wings. no chemicals yet still intentionally produced to create cloud cover. when the humidity at 17 to 25 thousand feet reaches 100% and doesn’t condense into clouds they fly plain old empty plaines through the humid region of sky once some condensation forms the humidity continues to condense into bigger clouds. didn’t any of you take 5th grade science? remember making a cloud in an empty aquarium? same but bigger. if an plane were to carry liquid or even powder product to be sprayed making a trail then no trail would be longer than any city block, thats just all a plane can carry. and you can see trails are miles long. you’d need more than 100 planes completely filled tip to tail top to bottom and into the wings as well just to produce a spray over 1 mile. not one of those planes would ever make it off the ground. and those “sprayer planes” you think you found photos of are weight distribution test plaines. each tank in the bay represents a 200 pound passenger and can be filled and drained at will to a belly tank in the plane. this way they can simulate uneven weight distribution in aircraft design and flight training. there are no nozzles in the edges of the wings. that would ruin the structure of the wing. that’s why crop sprayers are sprinkler like pipes that are visibly placed under a wing. so there’s the truth about vaccines, autism and chemtrails. oh and I forgot to mention, thimerosal has been banned as a vaccine and medicine preservative since 1978. but you still get a daily dose of it as you have your whole life. it’s been a food preservative since the 40s. can’t remember the food name for it. but I know it’s used to pickle and cure foods. you’ve been eating it your whole life and most people don’t have autism. there your real life proof of what doesn’t cause autism.

  • Brett Robles

    They have to be spraying something and/or putting poison in vaccines. It’s the only way to account for the mind-numbing idiocy… BTW, I suggest you change the name of the site to “The Satire Post – Satire, Satire, Satire” This will cut down the number of people who don’t get that it’s a joke by almost a half percent.

    • Jenny H

      LOL!!!

  • Shake up weeple!!!!11!!!!!

    Watched Quaxxed to get the TRVTH about vaccines and KHEMTRAILZ!!!!!!!!!!!!
    We may sound and look crazy, but all you pHARMA shills will see… you’ll see.
    In a few years 167% of children will have teh autizmz. I know it’s true, I read it on teh internetz!!!!!

    Here’s a guy who really knows what the little voices in his head are telling him about TEH KHEMTRAILZ:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/79d39da6d38194ac42c55cc0e210d03ea3e04efcf3418934b1fcdfaa8fd9294c.jpg

    .

    He recommends you pick up your guns and attend a Quaxxed showing for further instructions on how to exercise your Konstitutional Wrights.

  • Jenny H

    The comments here are hilarious! Honestly, hoodah thought so many people were so stupid!

    • Khemtrailers and anti-vaccine cultists?
      Surely that was a rhetorical question…

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  • smac7

    Are you that dumb? This article is satire.

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  • AuldLochinvar

    Is this site an offspring of The Onion? Or does Monty Python have anything to do with it?
    Anyway, it is either very enlightening, or should I say entertaining?

    • joe

      enlightaining!

  • Peter Seijen

    NWO Puppets. They think the people are stupid sheep.
    Killing the whole planet