Traces of vaccines found on Mercury

Traces of vaccines found on Mercury

The Mercury space rover, Trace Amounts 1,recently sent back images and analyzed dust and rocks found on the surface of the planet. To their surprise, the planet seems to have traces of the MMR and Polio vaccines on it’s surface.

“This is not what we expected at all,” said NASA’s Rich Pernell. “To be honest, we only expect the opposite: to find mercury in vaccines. So to say this is a surprise would be a huge understatement.”

This discovery heralds the question of whether or not vaccines are extraterrestrial in nature.

“I’m not shocked at all” said David Icke, conspiracy theorist extraordinaire. “Vaccines were probably developed by the lizard people and brought to Earth centuries ago.”

Scientists and Big Pharma alike are baffled at the discovery, both believing they are the ones who invented the autism-causing vaccines we know and love today.

 

  • Acleron

    Next, calories will be found orbiting Jupiter

    • Jennifer Bailey

      Based on the candy aisle, I’d have thought Mars.

      • Christopher Jimenez

        photosynthesis found on Sun

  • Grumpy Santa

    Don’t even start looking at what they found around Uranus…

    • Jennifer Bailey

      oh no, e-coli is also an extraterrestrial attack… people will say that the beings from Uranus use the light reflection when Luna is “mooning” us, and that is why we have constant reminders not to save leftover cut bulb onions (the white ones looking like full moons) because they attract infection… when cut bulb onions are antibacterial and only green onions have ever been linked to e-coli type issues…

    • Alan Ferkinhoff

      Klingons.