CDC quietly admits vaccines cause antibodies

CDC quietly admits vaccines cause antibodies

ATLANTA, GA – Fresh on the heals of the SB277 ordeal and the CDC whistleblower scandal, the Centers for Disease Prevention and Control (CDC) have quietly admitted that vaccines cause antibodies. Several anti-vaccine blogs and websites have picked up the story and ran with it. “Of course this will never be picked up by the […]

Researchers prove autism causes vaccination

Researchers prove autism causes vaccination

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – In a groundbreaking study from the University of Utah, researchers have revealed that autism causes vaccination. In a study of 2,323 parents, the researchers found that 100% of those on the autism spectrum fully vaccinated their children, while only 87% of neurotypical parents did so. “Our research shows that those […]

Scientists discover new science-illiteracy gene after studying anti-vaccers

Scientists discover new science-illiteracy gene after studying anti-vaccers

BERKELEY, CA – Scientists from The University of California Berkeley have completed a study of more than 2200 anti-vaccine cult members and discovered a new gene they are calling the ‘science-illiteracy gene’. The gene, PGFK-8, was found in all of the anti-vaccine members in the study and in none of the ‘normal people’ controls. “It was […]

Anti-vaxxers volunteer to help move goalposts at local soccer field

Anti-vaxxers volunteer to help move goalposts at local soccer field

SPOKANE, WA – A local town council was looking for volunteers to help them move the giant, heavy goalposts on the soccer field so that maintenance crews could fix the Astroturf. They were overwhelmed by the amount of people who showed up. “We were really blown away. We had more people than we ever could […]

Anti-vaccers voted Worst People on Facebook

Anti-vaccers voted Worst People on Facebook

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Poll results collected by Facebook, Inc. were released today revealing that anti-vaccine advocates are “the worst” people on Facebook. The results are as follows in reverse order: 7. The vague sympathy seeker (users who post something vague about their health, hoping for people to ask them what’s wrong. i.e. “Got some […]