“Cervical cancer is a harmless disease” say anti-HPV vaccine advocates

“Cervical cancer is a harmless disease” say anti-HPV vaccine advocates

LOS ANGELES, CA – With the recent news that cervical cancer rates are down nearly 50% since the HPV vaccine became widely used, anti-vaccine advocates have had to get rather creative. “First of all, this doesn’t prove the HPV vaccine has prevented any cancers,” said Erin Mercola, anti-vaccer. “We’ll never know if those girls would […]

Anti-vaccer gets confused by PubMed, will stick to anecdotes

Anti-vaccer gets confused by PubMed, will stick to anecdotes

Local anti-vaccer Mark Quigley had a go of using PubMed to help get some evidence of the harmful side effects of vaccines. He ended up having a lot of difficulty. “I always hear these pro-vaccine, pro-science types going on about peer-reviewed this and that” explained Quigley. “So I thought I would give it a go […]

CDC to debut ‘diet vaccines’ with less mercury, more aspartame

CDC to debut ‘diet vaccines’ with less mercury, more aspartame

ATLANTA, GA – The CDC announced today that they would be debuting their new line of vaccines for the health conscious consumer, diet vaccines. “The new diet versions of MMR and DTaP will be available starting next year,” said CDC scientist Dr. David Biel. “They will contain significantly less mercury than our regular vaccines and […]

Merck announces new vaccine against GMOs

Merck announces new vaccine against GMOs

NEW HAVEN, CT – The pharmaceutical giant Merck announce today that is has finished development on a new vaccine to protect people against the harmful chemicals found in genetically modified food. “This is a huge breakthrough” said Merck scientist Dr. Frank Enfoods. “We all know how dangerous GMO food is to the human population, so […]

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