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Vaccines - page 2

Breaking: Santa delivering presents to only vaccinated children

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NORTH POLE – The North Pole Press Association has announced that due to the increase in vaccine-preventable diseases this past year, Santa will only be delivering presents to vaccinated children’s houses. “Santa is getting older and we can’t have him being exposed to all kinds…

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Pro-vaccer bullies anti-vaccer by asking for proof of claims and citing peer-reviewed studies

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science, health, satire, vaccines.

PALO ALTO, CA – Pro-vaccine advocates are known for being bullies, especially when dealing with anti-vaccine advocates who make claims about the dangers of vaccines. “All I said was that vaccines are full of toxins and that it is a FACT that they are causing…

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Mattel introduces new line of anti-vaccine Barbies complete with viruses and bacteria

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sick barbie

LOS ANGELES, CA – Mattel announced a new line of Barbies today to much fanfare among conspiracy theorists: the anti-vaccine Barbie. There will be 4 dolls in total: Measles Barbie, Mumps Barbie, Rubella Barbie and Polio Barbie (complete with wheelchair). “We are really hoping to…

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A Science Post reporter shrinks down, goes inside the brain of an anti-vaccer

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antivaccinebrain

Using advanced shrinking technology, one brave reporter from The Science Post shrunk down and ventured into the mind and brain of an anti-vaccer to try and find out what goes on in there. The reporter, who shall remain nameless for their own protection, volunteered for the…

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CDC quietly admits vaccines cause antibodies

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

ATLANTA, GA – Fresh on the heals of the SB277 ordeal and the CDC whistleblower scandal, the Centers for Disease Prevention and Control (CDC) have quietly admitted that vaccines cause antibodies. Several anti-vaccine blogs and websites have picked up the story and ran with it.…

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Researchers prove autism causes vaccination

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT – In a groundbreaking study from the University of Utah, researchers have revealed that autism causes vaccination. In a study of 2,323 parents, the researchers found that 100% of those on the autism spectrum fully vaccinated their children, while only 87%…

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