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Vaccines - page 7

Anti-vaccer rushed to hospital after attempting complicated biostatistics formula without proper training

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Mel Smallwood, 37, was rushed to UCLA Medical Center earlier this morning with what doctors are describing and “severe brain trauma brought on by rigorous mathematics.” Smallwood, who claims to have a PhD in Immunology from Google, has little to no training…

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Local cherry orchard only hires anti-vaccers, production increases by 340%

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

CRANBROOK, BC – A British Columbia cherry orchard has been using the unusual method of employing only people who are against vaccines, and production has never been better. “It all started when we had this one guy, Kevin, on our picking team who we all knew…

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Mexico to build giant wall, “pared de la ciencia”, to keep out anti-vaccers fleeing from California

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

TIJUANA, MEXICO – Mexican government officials announced today that construction of the pared de la ciencia or science wall, will begin immediately along the border between southern California in the US and Baja California (a northern Mexican state). “We do not want a bunch of disease…

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Anti-vaccine conference focuses on finding new, scary sounding vaccine ingredient

in Vaccines by
Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

LOS ANGELES, CA – An anti-vaccine conference recently wrapped up in Los Angeles where the main focus was scary sounding chemicals. The annual conference is put on by the anti-vaccine group Voices Against Government Immunizations Now and Always (VAGINA) which has been the main sponsor of the event…

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Extra $0.25 tax added to all vaccines in order to offset increasing costs of paying pharma shills

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

ATLANTA, GA – The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced that all Americans will be paying $0.25 more per vaccine beginning July 4th. Industry experts predict the increase in cost should produce an extra $40 million in revenue for Big Pharma. They…

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Anti-vaccine Canadian couple sues hospital after doctors fail to resurrect their son

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

CALGARY, AB, CANADA – A Calgary couple is suing the Calgary Children’s Hospital after doctors there were unable to resurrect their deceased son, Isiah. “We brought Isiah to the hospital against our better judgment,” said Stephen David, father. “He hadn’t been breathing in over 24…

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