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Vaccines - page 5

“Cervical cancer is a harmless disease” say anti-HPV vaccine advocates

in Vaccines by
HPV Vaccine

LOS ANGELES, CA – With the recent news that cervical cancer rates are down nearly 50% since the HPV vaccine became widely used, anti-vaccine advocates have had to get rather creative. “First of all, this doesn’t prove the HPV vaccine has prevented any cancers,” said…

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Military prepares to help with forced vaccinations as school year approaches

in Vaccines by
SB277

LOS ANGELES, CA – The US military is preparing for the upcoming school year in California as SB277 will be enforced at gunpoint this coming school year. The SB277 bill made it mandatory for all children to be fully vaccinated in order to attend public…

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Anti-vaccer gets confused by PubMed, will stick to anecdotes

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

Local anti-vaccer Mark Quigley had a go of using PubMed to help get some evidence of the harmful side effects of vaccines. He ended up having a lot of difficulty. “I always hear these pro-vaccine, pro-science types going on about peer-reviewed this and that” explained…

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CDC to debut ‘diet vaccines’ with less mercury, more aspartame

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

ATLANTA, GA – The CDC announced today that they would be debuting their new line of vaccines for the health conscious consumer, diet vaccines. “The new diet versions of MMR and DTaP will be available starting next year,” said CDC scientist Dr. David Biel. “They…

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Anti-vaccers remain confused as to which vaccine ingredient to blame for autism

in Vaccines by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

Anti-vaccers most often cite mercury in vaccines as the cause of autism, but now they are changing their tone and moving the goalposts. Once mercury was taken out of childhood vaccines (and was never in the MMR vaccine) autism rates continued to rise. “After they…

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Merck announces new vaccine against GMOs

in Vaccines by
merck

NEW HAVEN, CT – The pharmaceutical giant Merck announce today that is has finished development on a new vaccine to protect people against the harmful chemicals found in genetically modified food. “This is a huge breakthrough” said Merck scientist Dr. Frank Enfoods. “We all know…

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