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New 180 pound GMO chicken submitted for approval by Monsanto

in Food Science/News by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

ST. LOUIS, MO – The Science Post has learned that biotechnology giant Monsanto has secretly submitted a new GMO chicken for approval to the FDA after securing a new patent. The chickens’ genes have been altered to make them grow at nearly 18 times the…

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Woman diagnosed with allergy to gluten-free food

in Food Science/News by
science, satire, gluten

SAN JOSE, CA – Local woman Chelsea Darling, 29, has just been told by doctors that she is allergic to gluten-free food.

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Alternative medical healers hold annual meeting to invent new diseases, cures

in Alt Med/Food Science by
Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

MIAMI, FL – In the sun and sand of Miami, Florida the who’s who of alternative medical healers held their annual meeting to create new diseases and condiions and of course new ways to cure them. The 3 day conference also focused on which vaccine ingredients to blame for autism and other conditions, the best fluoride-removal sysytems to sell on your website and how to convince people that oxygen and water are worth paying for.

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Whole Foods accidentally sells GMO strawberry; best seller for the past month

in Food Science by
Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

AUSTIN, TX – Whole Foods Market reported today that their best selling product over the past month, the giant sweet strawberry, was actually genetically modified and sprayed with over 1 million gallons of pesticides (we assume). Customers are outraged that they have been enjoying delicious…

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Breaking: Food Babe in critical condition after demanding 100% oxygen while scuba diving

in Food Science/News by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

MEXICO – Vani Hari, aka The Food Babe, is reportedly in critical condition at a Mexican hospital after a horrific scuba diving accident off the western coast of Mexico. Speaking through a translator, Diego Sanchez explains what happened: “Mrs. Babe said she wanted her scuba…

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Food Babe loses science debate to 8 year old Girl Scout

in Food Science by

CHARLOTTE, NC – The Food Babe’s latest scientifically illiterate tirade came against the Girl Scouts of America for not giving into her fear tactics and doing everything she said. The Girl Guides refused to change the recipe of their famous cookies to be all-natural and…

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