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Breaking: GMO salmon take over breeding plant, hold scientists hostage

in Food Science by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

PEI, CANADA – In a breaking story, reports indicate that the GMO Salmon being bread by AquaAdvantage, have turned on their captures and have taken control on the plant. “The doors and windows to the plant have been boarded up and we have been unable…

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Food Babe announces pregnancy, world prepares for 9 months of nausea, vomiting and verbal diarrhea

in Food Science by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

CHARLOTTE, NC – Vani Hari, aka The Food Babe, announced she is expecting a little, all-natural baby in the coming months. She is already getting well versed in all the natural, organic baby fodder she can. “I’m obsessed! Baby investigations are underway! I’ve been reading…

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Company can’t believe people are actually buying their “organic, gluten-free, non-GMO” bottled water

in Food Science by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

SAN JOSE, CA – A small American bottled water company, Freedom Springs, is having trouble keeping up with the demand for its latest organic, gluten-free and non-GMO water: “H2Love” “We kind of made it as a joke to be honest,” said Greg Laffradi, CEO. “We were trying to…

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Food Babe stubs toe on coffee table, immediately applies kale juice and blames Monsanto

in Food Science by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

CHARLOTTE, NC – Vani Hari was angry and in pain last night as she reportedly stubbed her toe on her coffee table and is at risk of losing her toenail. Her non-existent training immediately kicked in and she rushed to apply kale juice to the…

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Study shows less than half of anti-GMO advocates actually know what a GMO is

in Food Science by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

CAMBRIDGE, MA – A recent study by the Harvard School of Agriculture shows that less than half of people who identify as “anti-GMO” actually know the science behind GMOs. “We studied over 1300 individuals who self-identified as being against the use of GMO crops,” explained…

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