HOBOKEN, NJ – Area man John Stevens, 29, was taken to hospital over the weekend with food poisoning, which turned out to be e.coli. According to reports, Stevens said it was all worth it since the spinach was organic. “I’d rather eat organic and get e.coli or listeriosis than have a GMO enter my body,” […]
SPRINGFIELD, OH – Tatiana Orlov, 44, is reportedly nearing death from starvation after following the Food Babe’s “if you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it” rule to the extreme. Orlov moved to America 4 months ago and cannot speak any English; she relies on translators and a Russian language app to get through her day […]
Late last night we were contacted by an anonymous individual who claimed to have a copy of The Food Babe’s high school report card. Upon examination, this appears to be authentic. It seems Ms. Hari was excelling at marketing while struggling with science, even while in high school. We have reached out former teachers at […]
ONTARIO, CANADA – Musician and rock legend Neil Young has signed on with Sanofi PAsteur Canada, the makers of the insulin he uses to control his diabetes. The insulin is technically genetically modified, something Mr. Young is very much against.
In a shocking announcement today, scientists released the results of a two year study examining the attitudes and general awesomeness of people who do and do not consume gluten. It was confirmed through the study that people who consumed the evils that is gluten are much worse than those who don’t. “We found that people […]
SPOKANE, WA – Local entrepreneur David Loup has reportedly finally found something that will make him lots of money: surviving cancer. “When I first diagnosed myself with colon cancer, I was down in the dumps for a long time,” recalls Loup. “But rather than wallow in my own misery, I decided to get up and […]