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Anti-science, pro-disease parents release new imaginary disease: "GMO-injured"

in Food Science by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

PORTLAND, ME – No more will science illiterate parents have to solely rely on blaming vaccines for all the ills that befall their children. Vaccines are still the number one choice, well ahead of genetics, bad luck, reactions/symptoms from viruses, and environmental factors. However, “GMO-injured”…

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Syrian refugees refusing to enter America after learning GMO salmon approved by FDA

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Hundreds of Syrian refugees are reportedly turning back from US borders after learning GMO salmon has been approved for human consumption by the FDA. “I thought America was a land of opportunity. A place where dreams can come true. Now I see it is just…

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The pros and cons of following The Food Babe

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  Pros   1. Get to be part of an army without having to fight anyone 2. Feeling of superiority over your GMO-eating peers 3. Never having to think for yourself 4. Having your pre-conceived ideas about organic food confirmed in the Food Babe Army…

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Chipotle to introduce non-E.coli line of burritos

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In the wake of the numerous food poisoning problems at Chipotle restaurants across the United States, the restaurant is launching a whole new line of non-E.coli burritos. “Our non-E.coli burritos will be both delicious and free from E.coli, something we have never had before,” said…

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Food Babe believes she was the face that launched a thousand ships, igniting the Trojan War

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science, health, satire, vaccines.

Vani Hari is at it again, this time taking credit for starting the mythical Trojan War. In her latest screed, she claims that it was her and not Helen of Troy who cause a thousand ships to launch and begin the Trojan War. “Look at…

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Whole Foods introduces completely made up healthy sounding vegetable

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Whole Foods Inc. has announced they will begin to sell an all-new, recently discovered, all-organic vegetable called the Kallero. The Kallero looks and tastes very similar to a potato, but Whole Foods claims it has twice the nutrients and also contains cancer fighting properties. “The…

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