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Local smoker refuses to use microwave for "health reasons"

in Alt Med/Food Science by

Pack a day smoker Lynn Malone recently read about the horrors of microwave ovens and how bad they are for your health, and she immediately made a decision to never use one again. “I read about how the microwave not only destroys the nutrients and…

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Anti-GMO advocate develops first known case of "clueton intolerance"

in Food Science/News by

Anti-GMO advocate Gary Reddy has developed what doctors are saying is the first documented case of clueton intolerance. The symptoms of clueton intolerance include: Failure to have a clue what is going on. Inability to get a hint or clue that people want you to…

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Food Babe awarded Ban Hammer to the city

in Alt Med/Food Science by

CHARLOTTE, NC – Vani Hari, aka The Food Babe, was recently awarded a ceremonial Ban Hammer to the city of Charlotte, North Carolina by Mayor Dennis Thoor. The Food Babe was recognized for her work on laying down the banhammer on anyone and everyone who…

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Anti-vaccine, anti-science couple hopeful modern medicine can save daughter

in Alt Med/Food Science by

BOISE, ID – Local couple Matt and Liz Lawson are hopeful that their young daughter, 6 year-old Mackenzie, can pull through in her fight with acute promyelocytic leukemia (APL). With modern interventions and treatment, the cure rate for APL is nearly 90%. “It’s so heart-breaking…

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Shilly Awards bring few surprises, streaker

in Big Pharma/Food Science by

LOS ANGELES, CA – The 1st annual Pharma Shill Awards, or “Shillys”, took place last night in Los Angeles. Aside from a streaking Andrew Wakefield, the show went off without a hitch with many of the favorites taking home awards. See the full list of…

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Area man fired from Whole Foods after boss finds out he has science degree

in Food Science/News by
Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

AUSTIN, TX – Area man Travis Konecky was terminated from his summer job at Whole Foods after his boss, Chase Grapefruit, found out that Konecky not only has a BSc degree but was also planning to start graduate school in Biochemistry this fall. “There is…

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