PHOENIX, AZ – A tradgic accident that could have been avoided took the lives of all 163 people on board the Boeing 737 bound for Phoenix. The plane crashed on the runway amid a huge cloud of chemical smoke and fire.
NEW YORK, NY – The NSA announced today that yes, everything that happens or has ever happened in history is a conspiracy. Vaccines, the moon landing, the earth being round, Zika virus, everything. “We can’t hide the truth any longer, we felt we had to come clean” said NSA official William B. Davis. “Rest assured […]
HEAVEN – In the ‘Facebook post heard round the world’, the almighty Himself admitted that He actually really likes science…a lot. “Look, I never meant to intimate that I was anti-science or anything like that” He said. “I mean I gave you guys a really complicated, complex brain and a bunch of intricate systems to […]
With the announcement of a potential Monsanto takeover by German chemical giant, Bayer AG, Greenpeace employees were thrilled to see their offices filled with Harry and David fruit baskets this morning. CFO, Brian Baker, was beaming when he remarked, “Wow! These are so much better than those Mrs. Prindable’s Apples we got from ChemChina when […]
LOS ANGELES, CA – The anti-vaccine, conspiracy theory themed park, False Flags, was forced to delay its June 1st opening due to a severe staff shortage. “Over 40% of our staff called in sick,” explained park co-creator, Justin Canew. “We mandate that all employees of the park be unvaccinated, which some people are claiming is […]
Paranormal researchers have been looking for evidence of Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and vaccine injuries for decades – and have yet to find difinitive proof of any. “We are confident that at some point we will be able to prove all three of these claims,” said hunter Matt Christian. “Well two of them anyway.” […]