Military prepares to help with forced vaccinations as school year approaches

Military prepares to help with forced vaccinations as school year approaches

LOS ANGELES, CA – The US military is preparing for the upcoming school year in California as SB277 will be enforced at gunpoint this coming school year. The SB277 bill made it mandatory for all children to be fully vaccinated in order to attend public school. If parents refuse to have their children vaccinated, they be forced to at gunpoint (we assume).

“This is nothing but tyranny and greed by the big pharma controlled government,” said one science illiterate California mother. “I don’t want my special little snowflake being anywhere near vaccines, they are full of toxins. When was the last time anyone got polio anyways?”

Dr. Richard Pan spearheaded the bill and it passed in the California government despite petitions from pro-disease advocates that the bill was unconstitutional.

“This will ensure that the children of California are protected against diseases which can be very contagious and even fatal,”explained Dr. Pan. “This also protects children who are unable to get the vaccine(s) for medical reasons and as a bonus, we get to use the military and guns and stuff.”

According to several anti-vaccine websites like Natural News, Truth Kings and Info Wars, this bill was only passed because of the influence of Big Pharma, the Illuminati and their reptilian overlords.

“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that big pharma and the reptiles were all over this one,” said Mike Adams of Natural News. “I know how to juggle.”

The military is currently setting up several vaccine camps in California and are hoping the exercises they performed as part of Jade Helm will help them with the logistics of carrying out the forced vaccinations.


  • kfunk937

    Christ on a pogo stick. Don’t you need to be waaaay more over the top before the average, credulous ‘Murican recognises the Onionesque? It may very well be obvious to us (and welcome) but, please, let’s not make things worse, folks.

    • shay simmons

      This is the sort of thing they desperately want to think is true, though.

      The problem with sites like The Science Post is that they can’t possibly come up with anything that is too outre for the anti-science crowd to disbelieve.

  • VikingAPRNCNP

    One of the silliest posts I have read in awhile. This verges on Tenpenny and Natural News levels of paranoia.

    • Proponent

      And that is what makes it great satire, Viking.