PHOENIX, AZ – A fire hydrant in a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona burst last night, causing water to come spraying out all over the street. Children ran in excitement and began playing in the water, trying to cool off from the 90 degree weather. However, the children were not the only ones to rush to […]
Much to the consternation of younger members of the anti-vaccine movement, Sean Segal, a prominent 80 year-old founder of the modern anti-vaccine movement keeps claiming that the mercury in thiomersal causes autism. Thiomersal was removed from all childhood vaccines over a decade ago, prompting anti-vaccine advocates to shift the blame to other vaccine ingredients. “Look, […]
OREGON – Epidemiologists and doctors are baffled as to why the outbreak of dysentery continues to spread across all parts of the Oregon Trail despite their best efforts. “We have seen thousands of cases with no clear indication that the trend will slow down,” said epidemiologist Dr. Rick Haudas. Dysentery is an infection of the […]
The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases. “We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber. “DKD is characterized as expressing or believing that one has […]
At what was supposed to be a cordial meeting between two un-great minds turned into a heated argument full of hurling insults and conjecture. Jenny McCarthy, the undisputed queen of the anti-vaccine movement, went head to head with the king of the anti-vaccine movement, former doctor Andrew Wakefield. The two got into a heated exchange […]
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – In a bold move in the push for scientific illiteracy, anti-vaccine zealots have started an online petition to pressure the universe to remove Mercury from the solar system.