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Anti-vaccine mom blames vaccines after son sprains ankle playing soccer

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cdc vaccines

CHICAGO, IL – Mary Saunders, 32 year-old mother of Sean Saunders, had her son vaccinated before she had an internet connection and learned the true dangers of vaccines. This past weekend Sean was playing soccer with his little tikes team The Dragons, when Sean stepped…

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Anti-vaccine former doctor Andrew Wakefield accidentally blocks himself on Twitter

in News by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

Former doctor Andrew Wakefield, the darling of the anti-vaccine and anti-science movement, is known for blocking people who present facts about vaccines on Twitter; according to reports, he accidentally blocked himself yesterday after reading some of his own tweets. “I was reading some tweets I…

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Trump displaying classic symptoms of rabies, infectious disease experts say

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trump has rabies

WASHINGTON, DC – A growing number of infectious disease experts are worried that President Donald Trump is displaying all the classic signs of a rabies infection. “Mr. Trump is showing signs of extreme agitation, anxiety and confusion,” said Dr. Frank Sarivall of the CDC. “Another…

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Cleveland Clinic Replaces Conventional Medicine with The Four Humors System Following Medical Director’s Devastating Cold

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CLEVELAND, OH – Dr. Daniel Neides, Medical Director and Chief Operating Officer of the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute, announced his intention on Friday to abandon evidence-based, modern medicine in order to adopt the Four Humors, a healing system favored by Ancient Greek physicians and the…

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Outbreak of Dunning Kruger Disease spreads to all 50 states

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dunning kruger

The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases. “We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber.…

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Mattel introduces new line of anti-vaccine Barbies complete with viruses and bacteria

in Vaccines by
sick barbie

LOS ANGELES, CA – Mattel announced a new line of Barbies today to much fanfare among conspiracy theorists: the anti-vaccine Barbie. There will be 4 dolls in total: Measles Barbie, Mumps Barbie, Rubella Barbie and Polio Barbie (complete with wheelchair). “We are really hoping to…

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