The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases. “We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber. “DKD is characterized as expressing or believing that one has […]
NEW YORK, NY – Area woman Janet Hutton, 53, finally awoke from a nearly 20 year coma to the delight and celebration of both doctors and family. Unfortunately, soon after she woke up, he was given a laptop to catch up on the worlds news. He did not like what he saw. “You mean to tell […]
DOVER, IN – Local man Gary Harold, 37, has had enough of the mainstream media not telling him what he wants to hear so he has decided to exclusively get his news from sites like Info Wars and Natural News. Several of Harold’s friends and family warned him against the move, as sites like that […]
A huge house party on the campus on Illinois State University entered it’s fourth consecutive hour of Peter Campbell, a 3rd year philosophy major, hanging out by himself in a bedroom creepily watching everyone. “That dude gives everyone the creeps. No one will dare to talk to him because he’ll just launch into some anti-vaccine, […]
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – A large tertiary care center in Sydney, Australia is pulling out all the stops to try and cut their expenses. As of next month, all doctors and nurses currently on staff will be replaced by parents who have done research on the Internet.
WASHINGTON, DC – President Elect Donald Trump received some bad news today following his pre-presidential physical. “We informed Mr. Trump that after several rounds of confirmatory testing, he has dangerously thin skin and is at an increased risk for both basal cell carcinoma and squamous cell carcinoma (skin cancer),” explained White House doctor Neil Stephens. “We have […]