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Breaking: Scientists discover cure for cancer, rejected by many for containing "chemicals"

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science, health, satire, vaccines.

NEW HAVEN, CT – In a breaking story that is sure to make headlines across the globe, the research team led by Dr. Frederick Martin have reportedly found the cure for cancer. While the team has not officially released all the details of the cure…

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Outbreak of Dunning Kruger Disease spreads to all 50 states

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dunning kruger

The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases. “We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber.…

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Woman wakes up after 20 year coma, reads news, asks to go back in coma

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doctors, coma

NEW YORK, NY – Area woman Janet Hutton, 53, finally awoke from a nearly 20 year coma to the delight and celebration of both doctors and family. Unfortunately, soon after she woke up, he was given a laptop to catch up on the worlds news. He…

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Local man fed up with mainstream media, strictly reading Info Wars, Natural News from now on

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DOVER, IN – Local man Gary Harold, 37, has had enough of the mainstream media not telling him what he wants to hear so he has decided to exclusively get his news from sites like Info Wars and Natural News. Several of Harold’s friends and…

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House party enters fourth tense hour of anti-vaccine philosophy major leering creepily from bedroom

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HIPSTER

A huge house party on the campus on Illinois State University entered it’s fourth consecutive hour of Peter Campbell, a 3rd year philosophy major, hanging out by himself in a bedroom creepily watching everyone. “That dude gives everyone the creeps. No one will dare to…

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