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World Health Organization classifies Monsanto’s dihydrogen monoxide as “probably carcinogenic”

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Monsanto Roundup

SWITZERLAND – The World Health Organization struck a huge blow against Monsanto today when they classified one of their most used chemicals, dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO), as “probably carcinogenic.” “Monsanto uses this chemical in almost everything they make and studies show that if humans consume too…

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Guest Post: Will driverless cars change our lives for the better?

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Driverless cars are all the rage: Tesla’s autopilot is the perfect way to get through that mindless traffic during your commute, and Google has started a brand new company to handle all of their self-driving car technologies. Even Uber has gotten into the game with…

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Trump to meet with flat earthers to discuss Planetary Safety Committee

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NEW YORK, NY – President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will be meeting with top ranking flat earth conspiracy theorists to form a Planetary Safety Committee. It was recently announced that Trump is considering appointing anti-vaccine conspiracy nut Robert Kennedy Jr. to form a…

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Trump announces plan to make Gaslighting a cornerstone of American energy policy

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trump

Trump announced today that he intends to make America energy independent and create millions of jobs by bringing back the gaslighting industry. Trump made the announcement in a 3 am tweet: “I will unleash TRILLIONS of dollars in untapped gaslight! Obama made us TOTALLY dependant[sic]…

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Breaking: Scientists discover cure for cancer, rejected by many for containing "chemicals"

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science, health, satire, vaccines.

NEW HAVEN, CT – In a breaking story that is sure to make headlines across the globe, the research team led by Dr. Frederick Martin have reportedly found the cure for cancer. While the team has not officially released all the details of the cure…

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