WASHINGTON – In a breaking story coming out of Washington, officials have announced that they have found traces of the mysterious “Covfefe” in some childhood vaccines. “We expect find trace amounts of mercury, glyphosate, fetuses, all the usual stuff but not covfefe,” said a CDC official. “This is very disturbing news as we don’t yet […]
The bid for a 100% mercury vaccine was dealt a blow today as the researchers announced they were halting the study due to safety concerns. “We know that we can have upwards of 70% mercury in vaccines [as we currently do] and we were hoping to push it even higher,” said lead developer Dr. David […]
The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases. “We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber. “DKD is characterized as expressing or believing that one has […]
SWITZERLAND – A new study from the World Health Organization has deemed that vaccines are the main cause of overpopulation, due to them causing people to not die. “We looked at several different factors and determined that vaccines are the leading cause of living,” said the WHO’s Dr. Mike Furlong. “If we want to solve […]
At what was supposed to be a cordial meeting between two un-great minds turned into a heated argument full of hurling insults and conjecture. Jenny McCarthy, the undisputed queen of the anti-vaccine movement, went head to head with the king of the anti-vaccine movement, former doctor Andrew Wakefield. The two got into a heated exchange […]
PHOENIX, AZ – On a recent flight from Washington to Phoenix, naturopath Josh Axxe jumped out of his seat when the captain asked if anyone on board was a doctor. A passenger near the rear of the plan had begun seizing and was unconscious on the floor. The passenger also had a deep laceration on […]