Woman convinced being anti-vax makes her more interesting to Facebook friends

science, health, satire, vaccines.

TALLAHASSEE, FL – A Tallahassee woman admitted today that she only pretends to be an online anti-vaccine activist in order to seem more interesting to high school Facebook friends.

Carly Atwood, 41, started sharing “Big Pharma” conspiracy theories on Facebook two years ago after reading an article about Robert Kennedy, Jr. and his crusade against vaccines. According to Atwood:

“My kids got their shots when they were little so I don’t care about vaccines one way or the other but I feel like I need something more exciting to post on Facebook than pictures from family summers in Hilton Head. RFK, Jr. is such a cute, famous Kennedy, he makes being anti-vax seem kind of hip and original.”

Atwood is also enjoying her perception that posting articles about the imaginary dangers of vaccines makes people think that she cares about social issues.

“I love how passionate and smart my high school Facebook friends think I am,” said Atwood, “That makes all the time I spend posting articles and fighting with Big Pharma shills online totally worth it.”

In spite of not believing that vaccines are actually dangerous, Atwood plans to continue her hard work of constantly sharing anti-vax articles. “I know vaccines are fine, herd immunity, blah, blah, but I get a huge rush when high school friends comment on my posts. Maybe I’ll even be recognized for my activism at the next reunion.”

At press time, Atwood was furiously refreshing Facebook to see how many people “liked” her latest post defending discredited former doctor and anti-vaccine activist, Andrew Wakefield, and his universally-panned documentary, Vaxxed.


Writer, liberal humanist. Huffington Post Contributor. I use gross exaggeration, humor, and blatant stereotyping as literary devices.