Cleveland Clinic Replaces Conventional Medicine with The Four Humors System Following Medical Director’s Devastating Cold

Cleveland Clinic Replaces Conventional Medicine with The Four Humors System Following Medical Director’s Devastating Cold

CLEVELAND, OH – Dr. Daniel Neides, Medical Director and Chief Operating Officer of the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute, announced his intention on Friday to abandon evidence-based, modern medicine in order to adopt the Four Humors, a healing system favored by Ancient Greek physicians and the doctors of the Middle Ages. Neides’ decision comes on the […]

CDC Director on the Spread of Zika: Welp

CDC Director on the Spread of Zika: Welp

Miami, FL – Tom Frieden, the nation’s leading infectious disease expert, delivered a solemn message last week about the spread of Zika, the mosquito-borne virus that is spreading throughout Florida. The hoarse Frieden stood before the Miami audience and just said, “Welp,” and walked off the stage. The exhausted Frieden, who has spent months warning […]

Greenpeace employees enjoy fruit baskets from agrichemical giants

Greenpeace employees enjoy fruit baskets from agrichemical giants

With the announcement of a potential Monsanto takeover by German chemical giant, Bayer AG, Greenpeace employees were thrilled to see their offices filled with Harry and David fruit baskets this morning. CFO, Brian Baker, was beaming when he remarked, “Wow! These are so much better than those Mrs. Prindable’s Apples we got from ChemChina when […]

Four out of five people who accuse scientists of being industry shills think “irregardless” is a word

Four out of five people who accuse scientists of being industry shills think “irregardless” is a word

A team of researchers from the University of Michigan released a report today which adds to a growing body of evidence that those who routinely call scientists and science advocates shills for various industries do indeed believe that “irregardless” is a word. The habit of accusing scientists of being bought off by industry, particularly by […]