The release of a novel Coronavirus (COVID 19) by the Chinese CDC has gone much further than they ever expected.
“We weaponized the virus years ago and had always planned to release it,” said Dr. Zhung of the CDC. “We really didn’t expect it to spread so far so fast.”
CDC China revealed they have been working closely with Merck and the Gates Foundation to stir up panic and develop a vaccine for the virus.
“We are always looking for new revenue streams, especially with vaccines,” said Merck President Dr. Mark Brown. “People are catching on to the dangers of vaccines and we need to keep new ones coming and keep spreading fear and lies. Almost all the anti-vaccine memes you see on social media are completely true and we need to combat that.”
COVID 19 has spread from China to Europe and many fear it may be headed to North America.
“We really just need a few hundred cases in the US to really get people panicking and willing to take our completely untested vaccine,” says Brown. “Although lets be honest, none of our vaccines have been properly tested [laughs].”