SAN DIEGO, CA – Researchers at the San Diego Zoo observed some exciting behavior from the Anti-Vaccer enclosure this week: the mammals were observed making tools to open coconuts, exhibited some social behavior and solved some simple geometric problems.
“We never knew Anti-Vaccers (Illiterus scientificus) were capable of this type of behavior, especially given the small size of their brains” said biologist Dr. Dick Hawkins. “We are very excited about this news and will continue to monitor them closely.”
The anti-vaccine rights group PENIS (People for the Ethical Nurturing of Illiterus scientificus) are protesting against the zoo and their enclosures.
“Anti-vaccine mammals are not here for our enjoyment and amusement,” said PENIS member John Stone. “I understand they are fun to look at and watch them try to solve problems and such, but they are still living, breathing mammals and deserve our respect.”
Researchers at the zoo insist that Anti-Vaccers kept in captivity have a better life than those who live in the wild, who often hurt themselves or others by not getting vaccinated or convincing others not to vaccinate.
The Illiterus scientificus can be observed 7 days a week between 9am and 7pm.