Measles and mumps cases rise as vaccination rates fall, anti-vaccers blame lack of colloidal silver

science, health, satire, vaccines.

DENVER, CO – There has been a sharp rise in both measles and mumps cases Colorado Public Health announced today, due in large part to a declining immunization rate in Denver and surrounding areas.

“It’s pretty clear what is going on: as vaccination rates fall, vaccine-preventable diseases go up,” explained Dr. Kelly Winsor, pediatrician and immunologist. “This holds universally true no matter where you look.”

Anti-vaccine advocates, however, are not blaming a decrease in vaccination rates but rather a lack of colloidal silver being given to children.

“Colloidal silver will protect and boost a child’s immune system much better than any toxic vaccine. Everyone who has done their research knows that,” said Tanners Dad, Tim. “Of course measles and mumps cases are going up, Big Pharma is blocking the production and promotion of colloidal silver as a cure. They can’t make any money from it.”

While no actual research proves that colloidal silver does anything beneficial for ones health, alternative medical healers promote it as a cure all nonetheless.

“Colloidal silver (along with many of my other products) can cure cancer, multiple sclerosis, measles, mumps, pertussis, meningitis, you name it. As soon as you sign or click “Accept” on that waiver form and your credit card is approved, you will begin to see results almost immediately,” said Dr. Joseph Mercola, corpse-looking osteopath.


SP Team

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