Aging anti-vaxxer keeps claiming Mercury, not Aluminum, causes autism

Aging anti-vaxxer keeps claiming Mercury, not Aluminum, causes autism

Much to the consternation of younger members of the anti-vaccine movement, Sean Segal, a prominent 80 year-old founder of the modern anti-vaccine movement keeps claiming that the mercury in thiomersal causes autism. Thiomersal was removed from all childhood vaccines over a decade ago, prompting anti-vaccine advocates to shift the blame to other vaccine ingredients. “Look, […]

Outbreak of dysentery continues to spread across Oregon Trail

Outbreak of dysentery continues to spread across Oregon Trail

OREGON – Epidemiologists and doctors are baffled as to why the outbreak of dysentery continues to spread across all parts of the Oregon Trail despite their best efforts. “We have seen thousands of cases with no clear indication that the trend will slow down,” said epidemiologist Dr. Rick Haudas. Dysentery is an infection of the […]

Breaking News: Trace amounts of Covfefe found in childhood vaccines

Breaking News: Trace amounts of Covfefe found in childhood vaccines

WASHINGTON – In a breaking story coming out of Washington, officials have announced that they have found traces of the mysterious “Covfefe” in some childhood vaccines. “We expect find trace amounts of mercury, glyphosate, fetuses, all the usual stuff but not covfefe,” said a CDC official. “This is very disturbing news as we don’t yet […]

Outbreak of Dunning Kruger Disease spreads to all 50 states

Outbreak of Dunning Kruger Disease spreads to all 50 states

The CDC and FDA have confirmed that there are now over 5 million confirmed cases of Dunning-Kruger Disease (DKD), with all 50 states reporting cases. “We regret to announce that all 50 states are now reporting several cases of DKD” said CDC epidemiologist Mark Webber. “DKD is characterized as expressing or believing that one has […]

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