ATLANTA, GA – The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced that all Americans will be paying $0.25 more per vaccine beginning July 4th. Industry experts predict the increase in cost should produce an extra $40 million in revenue for Big Pharma.
They will be using this extra money to help fund their increasing number of paid online shills.
“Paying our shills to post comments online is getting more and more expensive,” said Pfizer executive Nick Zucker. “We knew we needed to find a way to make some more money and the answer was pretty simple: charge more for vaccines.”
Since vaccines are mandatory in all states in the US (or something like that) vaccines are always a guaranteed money maker for Big Pharma. The other side is of course the loss in revenue from treating vaccine preventable diseases, having eliminated most of them through vaccination.
“It’s a catch 22 to be honest,” said Zucker. “On the one hand we make billions of dollars from vaccines (and the chronic diseases they secretly cause), but on the other hand we are seeing a lot less children needing treatment for measles, mumps and polio.”
