Anti-vaxxers volunteer to help move goalposts at local soccer field

Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

SPOKANE, WA – A local town council was looking for volunteers to help them move the giant, heavy goalposts on the soccer field so that maintenance crews could fix the Astroturf. They were overwhelmed by the amount of people who showed up.

“We were really blown away. We had more people than we ever could have hoped for” explained organizer Nancy Turlington. “We had a lot of families showing up who said they had a lot of experience in moving the goalposts. ”

Anti-vaccine advocates turned out in droves to help with the move.

“We have been moving and shifting the goalposts for years, so we felt we needed to come and help” said anti-vaccine cult member Mary Arkisson. “Unfortunately my youngest son couldn’t make it today to help as he is at home with the measles.”

All told over 35 people showed up and the goalposts were successfully moved.

“Success! We did it again” said an excited and exhausted Arkisson. “First it was mercury and aluminum and now this. We’re really on a roll.”

After maintenance crews had finished their work, the volunteers were asked to help move the goalposts back, but refused.


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