NEW YORK, NY – An international committee of non-scientists and non-doctors are meeting next week in New York City to determine what is the worst advancement in human history: vaccines, chemtrails or GMOs.
The undistinguished panel will include such non-experts as Mike Adams, David Icke, Alex Jones, Kate Tietje, Donald Trump, Megan Heimer, Jim Carrey and David Wolfe, just to name a few. The location of the meeting is being kept secret as many members of the committee fear they will be targeted by CIA assassins.
“We are taking every possible precaution we can,” explained Alex Jones of Info Wars. “Tinfoil hats will be given out at the door, all cell phones will be confiscated, committee members will be scanned for nanobots and microchips upon entry, and no contact with the outside world is allowed for the duration of the conference.”
The Spudd Times has also learned a homeopath and naturopath will be on location in case any of the committee members require immediate assistance getting rid of some of their money.
The meeting is scheduled for three days, but many of the attendees have already expressed concern that it will take much longer than that to come to a consensus. While some of the members are extremely anti-vaccine, others are more focused on being anti-GMO, which could lead to some tension.
Some experts are predicting the committee will be unable to reach a unanimous verdict and may simply state that all three advancements are equally evil.