New sport, Zikathalon, to be added to Rio Olympics

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RIO, BRAZIL – Organizers from the International Olympic Committee (IOC) confirmed today that the Zikathalon will be added to this years games.

“There will be four events which make up the sport,” explained Frans Heimer¬†of the IOC.¬†“Mosquito swatting, 100 yard getting-chased-by-mosquitoes dash, Mosquito net set up, and a best-conspiracy-theory-about-Zika monologue competition.”

The organizers are expecting at least 18 athletes to be competing in the event from all over the world.

“I am very excited for this opportunity, I have been following the whole Zika story ever since it broke,” said one athlete. “I’ve read everything on Natural News so I’m pretty sure I have the final event locked up.”

Several doctors are warning that the event is dangerous and an unnecessary risk.

“This is the Olympics, all of these athletes know there is a chance they can get hurt,” said Heimer. “But they are representing their countries and that is a great honor for them, they accept any and all risks when they compete and this event is no different.”

The IOC has asked Monsanto to provide them with 10,000 Zika infected mosquitoes for the event.


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