ST. LOUIS, MO – The Science Post has learned that biotechnology giant Monsanto has secretly submitted a new GMO chicken for approval to the FDA after securing a new patent. The chickens’ genes have been altered to make them grow at nearly 18 times the rate of normal chickens and can reach weights of over 180 pounds.
Information received from a freedom of information request indicates at least 4 scientists have been killed by the giant mutant chickens, whose claws cans reach up to 18 inches in length.
“Once the chicken is taken out by a team of soldiers, it can nearly feed an entire town” said Monsanto scientist Wayne Arnold. “The most important thing we need to do is of course minimizing the number of deaths to farmers who will be eaten by the aggressive birds.”
Many people are against the idea of producing man-eating birds, but scientists insist that they are perfectly safe to eat…provided you can survive the fight to take one of them down.
“We are taking every possible precaution we can to make sure none of the chickens escape the testing facilities,” said Arnold. “We did have one incident where one of the chickens broke through the electric fence and terrorized a family in a jeep. We have since increased our security and terminated the family so they can’t tell their story.”
An FDA decision is expected early in the new year.
Photo credit: Eye Candy Pictures
