GM Watch Thrilled by Study Confirming How Gross Some People Find GMOs

science, health, satire, vaccines.

A newly released paper published in Perspectives on Psychological Science, finds that many people are opposed to genetic engineering because they are simply grossed out by the thought of it.

According to one of the study’s authors, “Many GMO opponents think the idea of genetic modification is just plain gross. They don’t want hear about the science or how it works. In fact, most of them made gagging noises when asked to consider the potential benefits of GMOs.”

While not all anti-GMO organizations agree with study’s conclusions, GM Watch, a group known for being especially repulsed by anything related to genes, embraced the paper with a mixture of relief and excitement.

“It feels so good to be understood. I mean, GMOs are just so gross,“ said spokesperson Claire Robinson. When asked to elaborate, Robinson replied, “God, I don’t know, DNA makes me barf. Plus, messing with genes just skeeves me out for some reason. Nobody should use technology I find icky.”

Robinson was enthusiastic when talking about her upcoming campaign against the GMOs she finds so sickening. “I’m really happy to ditch all of these dumb articles where I pretend to treat dog groomers and old French guys like serious scientists. Everyone is starting to see through that but tripping people’s gag reflex is something I’m good at.”

At press time, Robinson was deciding between “GMOs Give Me the Heebie Jeebies” and “GMOs? That Shit’s Nasty!” as titles for her next article.

Amy Porterfield Levy

Writer, liberal humanist. Huffington Post Contributor. I use gross exaggeration, humor, and blatant stereotyping as literary devices.