PHOENIX, AZ – A fire hydrant in a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona burst last night, causing water to come spraying out all over the street. Children ran in excitement and began playing in the water, trying to cool off from the 90 degree weather.
However, the children were not the only ones to rush to the spilling water. Local homeopaths quickly caught wind of the situation and were there in a flash. Many of them pushed past the children to fill up containers with what they called “free medicine”.
The homeopaths then scurried back their clinics stores in order to pour the water over sugar pills and charge $29.99 for these very rare “fire pills”, said to provide relief to burn victims.
“Something like this happens so rarely that we had to jump on it,” said Dan Ullman, homeopathic fake doctor. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, like when I found out I didn’t even need to go to medical school to be called doctor.”