CDC quietly admits vaccines cause antibodies

CDC quietly admits vaccines cause antibodies

ATLANTA, GA – Fresh on the heals of the SB277 ordeal and the CDC whistleblower scandal, the Centers for Disease Prevention and Control (CDC) have quietly admitted that vaccines cause antibodies. Several anti-vaccine blogs and websites have picked up the story and ran with it.

“Of course this will never be picked up by the mainstream media, they are all bought and paid for by Big Pharma,” said glorified blogger and conspiracy theorist Jacob Crosbi. “Why would anyone put something in their body that causes ANTI-bodies? It makes no sense.”

The CDC insists that “Your body can make antibodies in two ways: by getting the disease or by getting the vaccine. Getting the vaccine is a much safer way to make antibodies without having the suffering of the disease itself and the risk of becoming disabled or even dying.”

According the Crosbi and other anti-vaccine, anti-science websites, the CDC conveniently omits the FACT that vaccines can also make you sick with a bevy of other illnesses such as cancer, MS, and of course autism.

“The sheep will continue to roll up their sleeves and believe whatever the CDC and mainstream media tells them. A few us are awake and spreading the truth” said Crosbi.

When reached for comment the CDC said they have no problem with people spreading the news that vaccines cause antibodies. Again, the CDC is showing a callous disregard for our children.


  • Rachel Humphrey

    What is the point of this other than pointing out what we already know, it doesn’t seem to make the point of building many at once.

    • Chris

      Please tell us what is written under the title of the blog, which is located both at the top and bottom of the page. It is something most of know, but sometimes it needs to be pointed out.

    • BobTheMad




      The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

      synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn

  • Jon Ford

    I’ve got an open mind on vaccines, but articles like this do very little, if anything, to educate.
    OF COURSE vaccines cause the body to make anti-bodies. Most ten year olds know this.

  • Mark Meyers

    “anti-science”… Maybe “anti-authority” in consideration of the circumstances.

  • Mike Ballard

    I was vaccinated against smallpox and polio. Now, my body is crawling with anti-bodies and my butt itches something terrible.

    • Chris

      Oh noes! Do you mean vaccines cause hemorrhoids? Oh, the horror.


  • Bobsbride2

    The CDC forgot to state that antibodies from vaccines are temporary. As a result of temporary antibodies, the failure rate of vaccines is 80-90%, and “boosters” are needed. Some who are vaccinated never develop antibodies. The vaccine manufacturers admit this.

    • Chris

      How is 80% effectiveness worse than the 0% effectiveness of not vaccinating?

      The most common boosters are for tetanus and diphtheria, and now pertussis. They are all bacterial infections. The thing is that even if you survive a bout of tetanus or diphtheria you can get infected again with them almost immediately. Just like you cannot get immunity from strep infections. The vaccines protect you from the toxins those bacteria create, not the actual bacteria. Which is a good thing, because those toxins are literally what are trying to kill you. Tetanospasmin is only slightly less nasty than botulinum toxin.

      Also even after you spent three months coughing up your lungs with an actual pertussis infection, that “natural immunity” wears off in as little as five years:
      Pediatr Infect Dis J. 2005 May;24(5 Suppl):S58-61.
      Duration of immunity against pertussis after natural infection or vaccination.

      It is rather unrealistic to think a vaccine should provide better immunity than the actual pathogens. Only those who live on Htrae think vaccines should provide better immunity than the actual diseases.

      “The vaccine manufacturers admit this.”

      Because they don’t live on Htrae.

  • alykatma

    Satire, Duh, that is what vaccines are supposed to do. What they need to do is titers instead of repeated vaccination. We are giving too many vaccines to our children at younger and younger ages. Some have died from getting as many as 9 vaccines up to 13 at once. This makes no sense to me!

    • Chris

      “Some have died from getting as many as 9 vaccines up to 13 at once.”

      Evidence? I often wonder why some think it is better to get a much larger needle to draw blood from a child for a costly test, than dealing with the teeny tiny needle of a vaccine.

      Could you look at the schedule and tell me which age gets thirteen separate vaccines at once? Thank you.

  • JPH

    “Why would anyone put something in their body that causes ANTI-bodies? It makes no sense.”

    Are people actually that stupid?

    • Mark R.M. Holmstrand

      No, people aren’t that stupid.

      • Michael Mornard

        I want to live on your planet.

    • IrishGuy7798

      JHP – satire, my friend.

      • JPH

        Unfortunately, you never know. There are people who believe the earth is flat.


        day after Halloween… I will now claim I am tired and my satire radar is off due to lack of sleep – if anyone would believe that… ha.

        • Chris

          Check the top of the page and see what is written under the main title of “The Science Post.” The words are “Science, Health, Satire.” Not exactly hidden, but not glaringly obvious either.

          • JPH

            Damn… yeah kinda dropped it there..

            “Can’t brain today, I have the dumb”

          • Chris

            Blame Halloween. 😉

            Plus you are not the only one to miss it, it happens often.

        • Cpt_Justice

          It’s not necessarily your fault, because there ARE people that dumb out there.

    • Warren Lauzon

      Yes, there really are a lot of people that stupid.

  • Sa Poplick

    You know they are supposed to make antibodies? Hello!!?!! Antibodies are what our immune systems make to prevent future infections.

    • Chris

      Look at the top of the page, read the three words in small font under the title “The Science Post.” They say “Science, Health, Satire.”

      This blog post is a sarcastic reaction to the folks who say vaccines cause dire immune reactions, while totally ignoring that the diseases cause worse immune reactions.

      • Sa Poplick

        Those three words have nothing to do with comments which are condemning antibodies. The body’s natural immune system’s defense to virus invasion. Without antibody’s everything would die shortly after birth.

        • Chris

          Wow. You are tone trolling on a satirical website. That is hilarious.

          Just about as hilarious as the guy who posted crayon colored plots of disease deaths as “evidence” that the rate of diseases declined before the vaccines. And when asked to prove it with real scientific documentation he posted a picture of the kook that Jon Ronson wrote about in Men Staring at Goats.

          • Sa Poplick

            And you are? Not? Sounds like it to me.

          • Chris

            Someone who is laughing at you.

          • Sa Poplick

            Good glad I can bring laughter to your troll existence.

    • Warren Lauzon

      You need to learn how to read past the headline.

      • Sa Poplick

        I read the whole thing. My comment is for the uneducated who are showing their ignorance in matters of biology and physiology.
        Anyone not knowing what antibodies are…well it is just sad.

    • Nathan Stauffer

      The exact text is ’cause’ not make. Vaccines CAUSE the immune system to MAKE antibodies…

      • Sa Poplick

        That is exactly what they are designed to do! Brush up on your biology and physiology people. Vaccines are a weakened virus strain. Your body reacts to it by making antibodies just as it would in a full blown viral invasion. Antibodies are what prevent the virus from taking over and making you sick.

        • Nathan Stauffer

          Sorry, I totally misread your post. We’re on the same page.

          • Sa Poplick

            No harm.

  • You do know that vaccines do not “make” antibodies. The human immune system makes antibodies in response to internal or external stimulation. It is claimed by vaccine marketers that vaccines do in fact trigger an immune system response. Unfortunately, the only evidence for that claim comes from the vaccine marketers, who play the revolving door game with various educational and governmental agencies. Hardly science at all. The relationship between the regulated and regulators is very close. So cozy, in fact, that someone like Dr Paul Offitt, of CHOP, was allowed to vote on a CDC committee in favor of approving a vaccine in which he had a multi-million dollar interest. The Vaccine Industry is corrupt. Its products have been determined by courts of law to be “unavoidably unsafe” and vaccination is an uninsurable risk, which means the arbiters of risk in our society, the insurance actuaries, who are willing to insure skydivers and the like, will not insure vaccination safety. Because they are not safe. And where there is risk, there must be true Informed Consent. Oh, and by the way, vaccines did not end the pandemic diseases of past centuries. Hygiene, sanitation and nutrition did.

    • Paul Hanson


    • Chris

      “Oh, and by the way, vaccines did not end the pandemic diseases of past centuries.” Hygiene, sanitation and nutrition did.”

      So where are the fourth grade level colored in crayon graphs of disease incidence. You only posted “deaths.” Or you another clueless dupe who does not know the difference between “mortality” (measures quality of medical) and “morbidity” (number of actual cases of disease).

      “Hygiene, sanitation and nutrition did.”

      The following is US Census data of the rate of measles incidence during the 20th century. What great leaps in “Hygiene, sanitation and nutrition” occurred between 1960 and 1970 in the USA to cause a 90% reduction of measles incidence rates? Make sure you provide some good PubMed indexed studies by reputable qualified researchers to support your answer.

      Also make sure your answer does not mention:
      deaths (this is not about mortality),
      any other decade (unless it was also a 90% drop and did not go back to previous levels),
      any other country (England and Wales are not American states, “US Census” only pertains to the United States of America),
      and any other disease (changing the subject is bad form).

      Year…. Rate per 100000 of measles
      1912 . . . 310.0
      1920 . . . 480.5
      1925 . . . 194.3
      1930 . . . 340.8
      1935 . . . 584.6
      1940 . . . 220.7
      1945 . . . 110.2
      1950 . . . 210.1
      1955 . . . 337.9
      1960 . . . 245.4
      1965 . . . 135.1
      1970 . . . . 23.2
      1975 . . . . 11.3
      1980 . . . . . 5.9
      1985 . . . . . 1.2
      1990 . . . . .11.2
      1991 . . . . . .3.8
      1992 . . . . . .0.9
      1993 . . . . . .0.1
      1994 . . . . . .0.4
      1995 . . . . . .0.1
      1996 . . . . . .0.2
      1997 . . . . . . 0.1

      • OK, so hygiene, sanitation and nutrition reduced the number of deaths from the pandemic diseases. What remains to be explained by the vax marketers is why (a) the insurance actuaries, the arbiters of risk in our society, will not insure against vax injury and (b) why court after court says that vaccines are “unavoidably unsafe.” Where there is risk there must be Informed Consent. That is the defining issue of “health care” (actually, “illness control”) in the 21st century.

        • Chris

          A picture of a crazy person who sell quakery? How does that answer my question? Where is the PubMed indexed studies by reputable qualified researchers of why the incidence of measles dropped 90% in the USA between 1960 and 1970?

          Try better, and not with more advertisements for nonsense.

          • I see, you’ve read Alinsky. No possibility have a civil discussion. Good bye.

          • Chris

            Bah hah hah hah! I’m sorry, since when did Jon Ronson turn into a dead American? At least Ronson has spent time with Alex Jones when they infiltrated the Bohemian Grove. (Them is a another good book)

            No, sweety, the reason there can be no civil discussion is because you do not know how to read, nor how to reason. This is a satirical website and I see no reason to not laugh and point at your silliness. The mortality graphs that looked like they were done in crayon by a ten year old and the goofy quote from Stubblebine were just hilarious.

          • Chris

            Here is a hint on how to be taken seriously: when you are asked for PubMed indexed studies by reputable qualified researchers do not respond with a graphic highlighting someone on the American Loons website:

            Though if you bring verifiable proof that you can walk through walls or kill a goat by staring at it, then you might have something. Until then, expect to be laughed at when you venture out of your favorite echo chambers.

          • shay simmons
        • Rood

          Simple: insurance companies don’t insure against vax injury, just as they don’t insure against falling santa injury.

        • Oh, the lying, pro-disease, rat bastard shill is back. Looking for more business opportunities with frauds who milk every last cent they can out of the desperate and dying and provide nothing but hoaxes in return?

          • shay simmons

            As I mentioned above — they’ve got a retired general as their spokesperson against “mandatory vaccinations.”

            Oh, the irony.

        • shay simmons

          What remains to be explained by the anti-vaxxers is why insurers pay bonuses to pediatricians who have high vaccination rates in their practices.

          BTW — that you are using a retired general as your symbol of so-called “informed consent” has my irony meter just about pegged out, given that the only demographic in American society where vaccines are mandatory is the military.

        • AutismDadd

          Right on!

    • Nathan Stauffer

      The exact text is ’cause’ not make. Vaccines CAUSE the immune system to MAKE antibodies… It is really helpful to separate an industry that lacks oversight and needs reform from the actual science of how vaccines work. Some of the world’s worst diseases have been eradicated by vaccines. My grandmother had polio. She survived as a cripple. It took way more than hygiene to eliminate polio from our society. Nothing short of a vaccine could have created the polio free world we enjoy today. The entire medical industry needs to eliminate conflict of interest corruption. Don’t confuse that with the actual science.

      • Rick Nance

        why do you even talk to these people dude? I suppose it’s good finger exercise, but careful of the RSI.

    • shay simmons

      “Hygiene, sanitation and nutrition did.”

      Your teachers should have warned you about sleeping through history class, Ralph.

      • Mike Stevens

        “Hygiene, sanitation and nutrition did.”
        I heard that smallpox was eradicated only when they taught those nasty foreign people in Africa and Asia to wash their hands after defecating, so it must be true.

    • Brandon Tang

      If you’re so paranoid about the pharmaceutical industry lying about vaccines, why aren’t you skeptical if soap and other sanitation products work?
      How about nutritionists, do you really need to eat your veggies to be healthy?
      Lots of research has been done on how vaccines cause our bodies to make antibodies. In short dendritic cells matches the broken-apart virus from the vaccine with a helper T cell, the helper T cell wake up the B cells (the actual cells that make antibodies) and the antibodies kill the virus. After that process, the T cells and B cells exposed by the broken-apart virus remains dormant and you become immune to the actual virus.

    • Mike Stevens

      At this point I’m wondering what “JD” stands for.
      Is it Juvenile Dupe?

      • Just noticed your boorish comment. I have nothing to say to persons such as you.

        • Mike Stevens

          And although you supposedly have “nothing to say to persons such as me”, you just couldn’t resist saying something, could you?

  • joel3000

    I would like 2016 to be the year when people remembered that science is a method of investigation,and NOT a belief system.

    -John Cleese

    • roblimo

      I bow down to the Gods of Science. Hail! Hail!

      • Gabacho

        Well by logging into a PC, connecting via the internet, and sharing your thoughts with us all, you basically did!

    • Sa Poplick

      It is but flawed in that science will latch onto unproved theories to disprove facts they will not accept.

      • Brandon Tang

        No, a theory is supposed to be disproved/revised if there are evidence against it. Science isn’t about latching on to one theory and saying everything that doesn’t agree with it is wrong, that’s religion.

        • Sa Poplick

          Evolution is a theory. Never been proven. Science has latched on to it with an umbilical cord and despite this lack of proof science blindly follows. The laws of physiology, matter, motion all these laws and more are broken for evolution

          • that’s not what theory means.

          • Sa Poplick

            n.1.A doctrine, or scheme of things, which terminates in speculation or contemplation, without a view to practice; hypothesis; speculation.

          • Brandon Tang

            But that’s not what science is supposed to be about. Theories are constantly being tested against, even general relativity is still being tested because not all of what it predicts are proven.

            Most of the things you use around you are the product of science and engineering. Kindly turn off your electricity if you’re so against “science”.

          • Yeah, that’s not the meaning in use here – we’re discussing a scientific theory. It’s the requirement that the explanation be repeatedly confirmed thorough rigorous observations which specifically distinguishes a scientific theory from a system of belief.

            I like Wikipedia’s clear phrasing: A scientific theory is a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world that is acquired through the scientific method and repeatedly tested and confirmed, preferably using a written, pre-defined, protocol of observations and experiments.

            Or see if you dislike Wikipedia as a source.

          • Chris

            A general clue on vocabulary:

            Science: the highest category that can be attained is “theory.” There is no “law” of anything.

            Math: that is the only place that “laws” exist. It is only there that you can seriously contemplate infinity or the line with no width. The “law of gravity” is just a nice math bit that helps derive second order differential equations of motion. (see next bit about Newton)

            I know it gets confusing is that early scientists/mathematicians used unfortunate vocabulary. So several centuries ago when Newton expounded on his basic three “laws” of force there was no way he could know there would be refinements made in the early 20th century on both the atomic and relative spacey areas. Physicists a century ago found errors in how “Newtonian physics” worked in the very small and in the very fast realms. So the Newtonian “Laws” of physics were improved upon to make things like the GPS on your smartphone work accurately.

            They did not “disprove” Newton. The basic laws of motion taught in every high school physics class and used by all structural/mechanical/civil engineers (like myself, and the physics and math get a bit more intense in college) are still accurate enough to make sure the building you are in does not collapse under its own weight, that your car works, and wings are designed to lift aircraft.

            By the way Euler’s Formula is awesome!

            And the result that scientists find most exciting are the ones that make them say “That’s interesting.”

            (though the engineers would respond with: “how can I use that to make my widget better?”)

          • Sa Poplick

            Law is absolute. Breaking law in acts a consequence. Anything that seems to break some law is not escaping consequence are just in acting other laws. Flying does not defy gravity. Laws of air flow and propulsion are in play.
            Order can not come from chaos. Matter can not just spontaneously occur and life can not just happen in some random occurrence. It never has never will.

          • Chris

            “Order can not come from chaos.”

            So not only did you fail basic first year college physics, you failed chemistry. The second law of thermodynamics is for a closed system. So until our sun stops providing energy input we will still have chemical reactions re-arranging RNA and DNA.

          • Brandon Tang

            But there are proves, microbes are constantly changing all the time, that’s why there are superbugs. A study done on 50 generations of flies shows dramatic changes to the flies (from normal flies into wingless, white flies)

            Exactly how are the laws of physiology, matter, and motion broken for evolution? Especially the matter and motion part. For all I know matter and motion has nothing to do with evolution or living beings.

          • Randoman42

            True it hasn’t been proven. Neither has gravity, or the shape of the earth, or relativity; because nothing in science is “proven;” proofs are the domain of mathematics. Science deals with evidence, and between the fossil record, comparative anatomy, and studying genetics, among numerous other fields of study, we have more than enough of it to conclude that evolution has, in fact, occurred. Scientists observe it in the laboratory every day (of course, you creationist types tend to rationalize it away by saying that’s “microevolution,” not “macroevolution,” which creationists define as an animal “changing kinds.” Notably, “kinds” is a bs term that is not used by any scientist).

            But you know what DOESN’T have any supporting evidence? The genesis myth.

  • Chris

    Please go to the top of the page and read the three words under the words “The Science Post.” Please tell us what the third word means.

    It might have helped if you read some of the comments, especially the ones that point out what the subtitle says.

  • Tamarah Chancellor

    Satirical site folks. Chill

  • L. Ivanov

    Obvious satire, everyone calm down 🙂

  • Christine A

    *facepalm* “Fresh on the HEELS of the SB277 ordeal…”

  • Bill Colston

    it is satire designed to troll and catch people who share things with zero understanding of what they are talking about…

  • PaulMurrayCbr

    Vaccines are also loaded with DHMO.

  • Debra Diroll

    I’ll stick with science. Antibodies are really great things to have.

  • Emmanuel

    Are the person writing these article stupid? We’ve known for ever that vaccine would help the body adapt by creating antibodies that could combat the virus, and we’ve known that for over 30 years.. nothing knew there.

    • Tony Young

      You know this is a satire site.

    • IAmNotLegend

      Nope. Nothing new except perhaps your spelling of the word.

  • Steve Hill

    Brilliant satire 🙂

  • C. D. Carney

    This is the dumbest thing I’ve read all day.

  • Caroline Jane Morelli

    Not news….History.