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Big Pharma facing shortage of fetuses to make vaccines with, report shows

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science, health, satire, vaccines.

NEW HAVEN, CT – Several pharmaceutical companies are reporting that their stocks of aborted fetuses are running low, with some companies being down to only one warehouse full of the tiny corpses. “This is a real crisis for us,” said one Big Pharma executive who…

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New chemical-free vaccine enters phase III testing, CDC confirms

in Big Pharma by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

ATLANTA, GA – A new vaccine which is completely devoid of chemicals has entered the third phase of clinical testing, the CDC confirmed to The Spudd Times this morning.

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New Pharma Shill app "Shillify" notifies shills when anti-vaccer posts comment

in Big Pharma by
Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – A new app just released at the end of 2015 is already one of the most talked about of the year. The app, Shillify, is used by Big Pharma Shills to keep up to date with alerts on vaccine related stories.…

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Merck announces all vaccines now gluten-free

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Science, Vaccines, Med School, Satire

NEW YORK, NY – Merck Pharmaceuticals made a major announcement today when they revealed their entire lineup of vaccines are going to be gluten-free. “Ever since I stopped feeding Hudson gluten he hasn’t been in any car accidents, broken any bones, has passed all of…

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Why Big Pharma hates this 40 year-old dad

in Big Pharma by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

PORTLAND, OR – 40 year-old Ivan Hanysh has been hated by the pharmaceutical industry for decades. Why? Because he and his family barely have to use their products or services. “Me and my wife are completely caught up on our adult booster shots and both…

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First annual Pharma Shill convention to be held next year

in Big Pharma by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

DENVER, CO – The first annual Pharma Shill Conference will be held in early 2016 at the New World Order headquarters underneath the Denver International Airport. The theme of the conference will be “Shilling: From Trolling Internet Health Stories to Cashing Your Pharma Checks” with…

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