on strike

Pharma Shills threatening to strike

in Big Pharma by

NEW YORK, NY – Local 277 who represents Pharma Shills worldwide, is threatening to strike if a new collective bargaining agreement is not reached with Big Pharma. Pharma Shills are employed by numerous pharmaceutical companies to search the internet for any and all articles related to vaccines, alternative medicine and miracle cures and post scripted comments.

“We have a had a very tough year, and Big Pharma better step up to the plate” said union president Orac. “Between the ongoing work to cover up the vaccine-autism link, to posting harassing comments against Food Babe, it has really been a busy year for the shills.”

Pharma Shills are asking for a 10% pay raise per comment posted and are also demanding that they receive the same non-autism-causing vaccines that the 1% and their families get.

“We don’t think we are asking for anything unreasonable” explained Orac. “It is a lot of work to constantly spread the lies of Big Pharma and deny all the legitimate cancer fighting miracle cures.”

Big Pharma has until midnight this Wednesday to table a response.

  • I do have personal experience being a strike captain, so I volunteer for that duty!

    • Sonja Henie-Spinning Jenny!

      I’m working on my sign!

      • John

        Anything I can do?

        • AutismDadd

          Yea show up suffering from measles and you can claim you will all die without MMR’S

      • Union dues cover signs. You just have to show up and I will pass out signs. Maybe you bring the donuts!

        • Sonja Henie-Spinning Jenny!

          Sure! Pumpkin, since it’s almost Halloween?

  • AutismDadd

    Always knew it was true. Maybe we’ll see a work slow down, but if we can actually detect it that’s the question. I mean posting duh moments doesn’t require much work.

    • Michael McCarthy

      Always knew it was true.

      You poor thing, you mistook satire for truth (again).

      • AutismDadd

        Oh did I? Nice assumption.

        • Michael McCarthy

          There is no assumption there.

  • Ah, I love it when I can just use a stock phrase to sum up my feelings:

    “NO MO PO MO!”

  • I assume they inked a new contract…?