gmo bananas

Breaking: Monsanto plans to poison everyone with GMO bananas laced with pyridoxine

in Food Science by

ST. LOUIS, MO – In a breaking story coming out of Monsanto headquarters, The Spudd has learned that the agricultural giant has been planning and testing GMO bananas which are chalked full of the chemical, pyridoxine.

“I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of such a banana,” said the CEO of Monsanto, Lucifer Diablo.

In a shocking moment just a few minutes later however, the CEO admitted to the following:

“But I will tell you that yes, pyridoxine will be found in any banana we grow.”

Anti-GMO and anti-Monsanto advocates the world over were shocked and appalled that the CEO would so readily admit this and called for his immediate arrest.

“The fact that the head of Monsanto is publicly admitting that they plan to poison their food by adding dangerous chemicals like pyridoxine is quite frankly mind blowing,” said Zen Honeycutt, non-scientist. Her sentiments were echoed by Vani Hari, aka the Food Babe.

“First of all, I can’t pronounce pyridoxine, so I would never eat it. Second of all, there has never been any testing done on pyridoxine, ever. Me and my army will be all over this, calling for Monsanto to remove all traces of pyridoxine from all of their products.”

We will keep you informed with any updates.


  • Grumpy Santa

    Pyridoxine won me a game of Bingo once…

    • Skinnydipper

      Just imagine the possibilities in Scrabble!

  • Smarter than Your Average Bear

    During production they also add a lot of dihydrogen monoxide so be careful ­čśë

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