Anti-vaccers remain confused as to which vaccine ingredient to blame for autism

science, health, satire, vaccines.

Anti-vaccers most often cite mercury in vaccines as the cause of autism, but now they are changing their tone and moving the goalposts. Once mercury was taken out of childhood vaccines (and was never in the MMR vaccine) autism rates continued to rise.

“After they took mercury out of vaccines and the autism rate kept going up, we were kind of at a loss to be honest,” said anti-vaccine cult member Kelly Crawford. “But then we all got together and decided to change it to aluminum…or is it formaldehyde…or fetal DNA…I can never remember. That’s why I just tend to go with “toxins” – it’s just easier.”

While numerous studies have proven vaccines to be safe and efficacious, they of course are never good enough for the anti-vaccine cult members.

“Every time there is another study shown to us that proves vaccines are safe, it is just more proof to us that Big Pharma is controlling every single scientist and doctor on the planet,” explained osteopath Joseph Mercola. “Except for doctors like me of course. Doctors who go against the mainstream and only sell products which work…and buy me mansions.”

Scientists believe that due to anti-vaccine cult members having a different genetic make up in their brains than science believers, unfortunately they may never grasp even the most basic of vaccine science.


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