science, health, satire, vaccines.

World Health Organization classifies David Avocado Wolfe as ‘probably carcinogenic’

in Alt Med by

GENEVA – The World Health Organization (WHO) has officially classified David “Avocado” Wolfe as ‘probably carcinogenic’. Wolfe joins the growing list which recently added red meat and being a hairdresser to the long list of chemicals, foods and jobs.

“We feel the more people are exposed to Mr. Wolfe and his crazy ideas (especially about curing cancer) the more likely they are to make bad health decisions which may if fact increase their chances of dying from cancer,” explained Dr. Roy West of the WHO and IARC. “We advise everyone that if you feel the need to listen to the “Avocado” for whatever reason, that you do so sparingly.”

David Wolfe issued a statement on his Facebook page saying:

The WHO and IARC have no idea what they are doing. I am all above love, health and avocados. I would never hurt anyone. The chocolate sun rays of peace and chakra alignment are radiating at the same frequency as your inner spirit. Namaste.

Fair enough.


  • William Rombola

    It really is hard to argue with That logic.

  • Unca_Chris

    It becomes increasingly difficult to tell whether this is satire or reality.

    • Yeah, I have the same problem.

    • Tex Dielen

      right at the top it says science, health, satire. So even though this article does make a good point, it is in fact satire with the purpose of raising awareness for this nutbag.

      • Unca_Chris

        Can’t believe I missed that! ⁰~⁰ Still, as you say, it’s a great article, and yes, he needs exposing. 🙂

  • Dan Bull

    Yes lets all believe what corrupt WHO are saying because they know there’s no profit in healthy living.

    • TerranRich

      Yes let’s believe a satirical article.

    • Ian Osmond

      The nice thing about your belief system is that it’s evolutionarily self-limiting.

    • Evolved One

      Bet you believe vaccines make your dick fall off, too….idiot.

    • Karin

      This is satire. Surely you can see it. Furthermore, the WHO is a non profit organization. How would they benefit financially from any of their declarations?

  • greg

    honestly this logic probably would stand with the WHO. He DOES give bad health advice, particularly with cancer, so that WOULD increase the risk of getting it to anyone who reads his crap.

  • Lyle McDonald

    So why in the fuck do you keep exposing people to him?

  • Evolved One

    David Wolfe, like all the other purveyors out there of stupidity like the Food Babe and the anti vaxxers, needs a good smack in the head and an atomic wedgie.

  • Deborah Joan Chadwick

    What are you afraid of? Are you in the medical and pharmaceutical field afraid of lose money when we all figure out that we can take care of ourselves better then you can? Nature is always better and as far as Cancer goes, there is documented proof that chemo don’t work. Building up your bodies metabolism with healthy foods and herbs does. Medicine and big pharma is a money racket that makes money off the pain and suffering of others. I have also read of cures for a lot of the diseases that plague mankind. These cure show up and are very quickly disappeared. If the medical and big pharma don’t have sick people, they can’t get rich off them.

    Mr. Wolf. I am a fan of yours. I am sorry for this crap. I have had my say. This time.

    • Rolf Kristensen

      “These cure show up and are very quickly disappeared.”

      One might onder why the cures dissapeared. On the other hand, a lot of things that doesn’t work disappear…

    • Hugh Phoenix-Hulme

      So you think Mr. Avocado is accurate in his assertions that salt holds the sea on the earth, and that gravity is a toxin?

    • Pedro Rodrigues

      I think you might believe those things because medical care in the USA is necessarily associated with corporations. But science ain’t about that. Here in Brazil, medical care is free, and we have about the same sicknesses as everywhere else. Please rethink about conspirational theories involving peolple that actually care for you without even knowing you. People who study medicine, people who work at hospitals, people who research cures and treatments, people that can have those deceases at the same rate as you can.

      • TimN

        The system isn’t free, someone is paying! The government. Which likey makes the system less efficient and more open to manipulation (not in a conspiracy way, just $$). I have no input or standpoint on any of this article, but though this should be cleared up.

        • Pedro Rodrigues

          No arguments here. We could do a lot better without all the corruption and corporate mafia sucking the money. And this new government is striving away all the little achievements of the so-called “free health-care”. But hey, let’s pay for private, huh? It’s not like we have government money, it’s only THIRTY FUCKING PERCENT IN TAXES.
          So, yeah, we should be doing waaaaaaaay better.

    • andy

      I’m afraid of people with attitudes that can’t be swayed by evidence. it’s a terrible shame. No doubt you’re a really nice person, but believing that David Wolfe has anything decent to say apart from a few borrowed memes about being in nature, is a bit depressing for me. As to Big Pharma being a money racket, I would look a little closer at Wolfe’s website before you decide to point fingers.

    • Kertha

      Correct grammar, capitalization, and complete words are also healthy. I guess that you don’t care about that. You had better better be careful or else “big pharma” might use that to their advantage as well.

    • Running Welder

      The fraud is a known liar and con artist, why are you so insistent on supporting a fraud who warns people about heavy metals yet sells a product with heavy metals in it?
      He has only one actual legitimate degree while the rest come from bogus mail order degree shops and he has zero verifiable proof to back up anything he claims.

    • Chris

      “Mr. Wolf. I am a fan of yours.”

      Admit it. You are enamored with him because you really really like avocados. It must be guacamole defense.

    • DKeane123

      “Nature is always better and as far as Cancer goes,”

      So pre-medical science must have been a golden age of health that was cancer free?

    • linked1

      Yes, nature is better, but David Wolf is still a hack and a fraud.