World Health Organization classifies David Avocado Wolfe as ‘probably carcinogenic’

World Health Organization classifies David Avocado Wolfe as ‘probably carcinogenic’

GENEVA – The World Health Organization (WHO) has officially classified David “Avocado” Wolfe as ‘probably carcinogenic’. Wolfe joins the growing list which recently added red meat and being a hairdresser to the long list of chemicals, foods and jobs.

“We feel the more people are exposed to Mr. Wolfe and his crazy ideas (especially about curing cancer) the more likely they are to make bad health decisions which may if fact increase their chances of dying from cancer,” explained Dr. Roy West of the WHO and IARC. “We advise everyone that if you feel the need to listen to the “Avocado” for whatever reason, that you do so sparingly.”

David Wolfe issued a statement on his Facebook page saying:

The WHO and IARC have no idea what they are doing. I am all above love, health and avocados. I would never hurt anyone. The chocolate sun rays of peace and chakra alignment are radiating at the same frequency as your inner spirit. Namaste.

Fair enough.


  • William Rombola

    It really is hard to argue with That logic.

  • Unca_Chris

    It becomes increasingly difficult to tell whether this is satire or reality.

    • Yeah, I have the same problem.

    • Tex Dielen

      right at the top it says science, health, satire. So even though this article does make a good point, it is in fact satire with the purpose of raising awareness for this nutbag.

      • Unca_Chris

        Can’t believe I missed that! ⁰~⁰ Still, as you say, it’s a great article, and yes, he needs exposing. 🙂

  • Dan Bull

    Yes lets all believe what corrupt WHO are saying because they know there’s no profit in healthy living.

    • TerranRich

      Yes let’s believe a satirical article.

    • Ian Osmond

      The nice thing about your belief system is that it’s evolutionarily self-limiting.

    • Evolved One

      Bet you believe vaccines make your dick fall off, too….idiot.

    • Karin

      This is satire. Surely you can see it. Furthermore, the WHO is a non profit organization. How would they benefit financially from any of their declarations?

  • greg

    honestly this logic probably would stand with the WHO. He DOES give bad health advice, particularly with cancer, so that WOULD increase the risk of getting it to anyone who reads his crap.

  • Lyle McDonald

    So why in the fuck do you keep exposing people to him?

  • Evolved One

    David Wolfe, like all the other purveyors out there of stupidity like the Food Babe and the anti vaxxers, needs a good smack in the head and an atomic wedgie.

  • Deborah Joan Chadwick

    What are you afraid of? Are you in the medical and pharmaceutical field afraid of lose money when we all figure out that we can take care of ourselves better then you can? Nature is always better and as far as Cancer goes, there is documented proof that chemo don’t work. Building up your bodies metabolism with healthy foods and herbs does. Medicine and big pharma is a money racket that makes money off the pain and suffering of others. I have also read of cures for a lot of the diseases that plague mankind. These cure show up and are very quickly disappeared. If the medical and big pharma don’t have sick people, they can’t get rich off them.

    Mr. Wolf. I am a fan of yours. I am sorry for this crap. I have had my say. This time.

    • Rolf Kristensen

      “These cure show up and are very quickly disappeared.”

      One might onder why the cures dissapeared. On the other hand, a lot of things that doesn’t work disappear…

    • Hugh Phoenix-Hulme

      So you think Mr. Avocado is accurate in his assertions that salt holds the sea on the earth, and that gravity is a toxin?

    • Pedro Rodrigues

      I think you might believe those things because medical care in the USA is necessarily associated with corporations. But science ain’t about that. Here in Brazil, medical care is free, and we have about the same sicknesses as everywhere else. Please rethink about conspirational theories involving peolple that actually care for you without even knowing you. People who study medicine, people who work at hospitals, people who research cures and treatments, people that can have those deceases at the same rate as you can.

      • TimN

        The system isn’t free, someone is paying! The government. Which likey makes the system less efficient and more open to manipulation (not in a conspiracy way, just $$). I have no input or standpoint on any of this article, but though this should be cleared up.

        • Pedro Rodrigues

          No arguments here. We could do a lot better without all the corruption and corporate mafia sucking the money. And this new government is striving away all the little achievements of the so-called “free health-care”. But hey, let’s pay for private, huh? It’s not like we have government money, it’s only THIRTY FUCKING PERCENT IN TAXES.
          So, yeah, we should be doing waaaaaaaay better.

        • Argh arcturus

          You are aware, that government-run medical insurance is more efficient, cheaper, and less wasteful, than corporate insurance? There is no advertising fees, and no executive pay. It’s only because Reagan sold us a con, that people think corporations can run more smoothly than the government…

    • andy

      I’m afraid of people with attitudes that can’t be swayed by evidence. it’s a terrible shame. No doubt you’re a really nice person, but believing that David Wolfe has anything decent to say apart from a few borrowed memes about being in nature, is a bit depressing for me. As to Big Pharma being a money racket, I would look a little closer at Wolfe’s website before you decide to point fingers.

    • Kertha

      Correct grammar, capitalization, and complete words are also healthy. I guess that you don’t care about that. You had better better be careful or else “big pharma” might use that to their advantage as well.

    • Running Welder

      The fraud is a known liar and con artist, why are you so insistent on supporting a fraud who warns people about heavy metals yet sells a product with heavy metals in it?
      He has only one actual legitimate degree while the rest come from bogus mail order degree shops and he has zero verifiable proof to back up anything he claims.

      • Nicole McGuinness

        Lol because neolithic man lived SO much longer than modern man… retard!!!!!!

    • Chris

      “Mr. Wolf. I am a fan of yours.”

      Admit it. You are enamored with him because you really really like avocados. It must be guacamole defense.

    • DKeane123

      “Nature is always better and as far as Cancer goes,”

      So pre-medical science must have been a golden age of health that was cancer free?

      • Matthew Wilson

        To be fair Cancer has increased since the dark ages. Mainly because we are living long enough (thanks to science) to get it.

    • linked1

      Yes, nature is better, but David Wolf is still a hack and a fraud.

    • ClaudeL

      “Nature is always better.”

      Ebola = natural
      Communicable diseases = natural
      Cancer = natural

      Your body HAS no natural defense against these things. In the case of viruses, your body will not have created a defense against them unless and until it is exposed to them to trigger the production of such a defense (natural immunization). Vaccines are simply a safer method of achieving this goal.

      You’re a fucking dumbass who clearly has very limited knowledge when it comes to biology, medicine, or nutrition.

      • Brian Frang

        I wish I could upvote this a billion times

      • Argh arcturus

        Cyanide = natural…

    • Brian Frang

      What kind of “fan” can’t even spell the name of the person they follow?

    • Mottfolly

      Your grammar and spelling are atrocious as well as your knowledge.
      Wolfe is a charlatan who has nothing of vale to sell, you are the one who is loosing money to a thief.

      • Anthea Cowen

        Mottfolly…. best check your own spelling first before criticising someone else’s.

    • Patricia Stoop

      Do you have cancer? Do you know how people get cancer? Are you privy to the tens to hundreds of steps in genetic mutations that lead to cancer and make it near impossible to lay cause. Do you know what chemo treatment is this century? Hint: it’s not mustard gas. Btw mustard is natural. Everything’s a chemical (even water – dihydrogen monoxide) It’s targeted therapies, immunotherapy, mtor inhibitors, egfr and vegfr inhibitors, plant based drugs (Vinorelbine and Taxanes)…..And so you know, apricot pits are actually cyanide so yup, it’s chemo too. Ever heard of adaptive t cell transfer where they take out your t cells, expose them to a virus and put them back in to kill cancer? How about POG – personalized oncogenetics?

      I have stage 4 breast cancer and had maybe a 5% chance of surviving until now and it’s thanks to targeted therapy I’m still here. Every friend that took the alternative road and denied medical treatment died. I’m last one standing.

      That’s why DAW angers me so. He turns people away from options that improve overall survival so they die. Everyone can say they knew someone who died from cancer treatment. But I have 18 years experience in palliative care/oncology and not one of hundreds of my clients cured themselves. Nope, nobody paid me…. I work in a public system. I’ve seen gerson and chipsa and hippocrates in action – taking 10’s of thousands resulting in death. Young women with early stage, curable cancer died because they refused treatment and left young children. Yes there are stories of radical remission. But plural of anecdote is not data. ….. And you’d think in 18 years I would have seen at least 1.

      Of course there are things you can do to take control of your health and there might be value in some complementary options but only when paired with medicine. And we need more research into environmental causes.

      Despite everyone’s conspiracy idea that alternative trraments are ignored that’s total bs. I can look up trials on all sorts of things – cannabis oil, metabolic therapies, baking soda – you name it. If it worked they would use it.

      If you could eat your way to perfect health wouldn’t that mean our ancestors would have lived longer and not had cancer? Nope they’ve found cancer in Egyptian mummies.

      And honestly how can you take a flat earther who doesn’t believe in gravity, thinks chocolate is an octave of sun energy, and sells deer antlers (sawed off and left to bleed)deer placenta and cow colostrum (poor baby cow) seriously. I’d take no issue if those were his own ideas but he’s dangerous because he forces his ideas on others.

      • Argh arcturus

        Mustard gas doesn’t actually come from mustard. It is so named, because of the yellow color of the gas.

    • Randall Watson

      There’s documented proof that Chemo does work… and documented cases that chemo doesn’t work (but what are you calling chemo?). btw, if big pharma had “a drug” or “a cure” that could “cure cancer” they’d be selling it because it would make more money than all other drugs combined, EVER. why would you sit on a massive earnings potential like that?

    • Stuart Robinson

      No, seriously, you are fucking cretin. If it wasn’t for the internet, you’d be in a cave somewhere grunting at rocks.

    • Argh arcturus

      So, you actually think fungus’ spores are everywhere, the planet is flat, and chocolate is whatever THE FUCK he was prattling on about? You are a dangerous person, and should be removed from society before you do very real damage to those around you…

    • Fuel59

      You’re an idiot

    • medivh

      I’d say you’re barking up the wrong tree, but it appears that you’re barking up a storm drain and thinking it’s a tree. I’d wonder how you managed such a misconception, but then again there seem to be a lot of people out there who have similar misconceptions…

    • Nicole McGuinness

      Nature is better….because mediaeval man lived SO much longer than modern man….you retard!!!!

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  • Mr.Z

    Google gives you the information.
    Training, the criterion.
    One without the other is nothing.
    Avocado has none of both!!!
    How he do his money?

  • Levi

    I actually looked this up, hoping to find that it was true before realizing that the Science Post names itself as a satire site. Good show, Science Post.

  • Jeanne Pauli

    This article was put up “June 6, 2017”. The third comment down … “Deborah Joan Chadwick • a year ago”. So just how did Deborah know a year ago to comment on an article that was not yet published?