Truth in Science Series: One on One with Dr. Paul Offit

Truth in Science Series: One on One with Dr. Paul Offit

Welcome to the first in our series of Truth in Science. This is where we go one on one with prominent scientists, doctors and health professionals to bring you da troof. Our first guest is Dr. Paul Offit. (Editors note: Yes this actually happened. We actually interviewed him over Skype.)

The Science Post: So you have been called a Vaccine Industrialist-

Dr. Paul Offit: Millionaire Vaccine Industrialist.

TSP: Correct, sorry. So for the purposes of this interview would you prefer to be called that or will Pharma Shill be OK?

Offit: Pharma Shill is good.

TSP: OK great. So as we all know, in order to be a really good doctor or health professional you need an online store. Why don’t you have one?

Offit: I know, our Vaccine Education Center website neither sells dietary supplements or directs you to personal injury law firms, so yes I guess that’s a weakness.

TSP: You should work on that if you want to be taken more seriously. So, you have famously said that you wish all children could get 10,000 vaccines at once. How close are you to that achieving that goal?

Offit: I don’t think I said I wish that. When I was asked the question of how many immunological components could one respond to in one time regarding vaccines, I did the math and worked through it with two theoretical immunologists at UC San Diego as well as B-cell immunologists at the Wistar Institute and, you know, that 10,000 number is actually modest when you consider what you typically encounter everyday.

But I sort of regret that, I think it created this image of children getting 10,000 vaccines which is a monstrous image and I was the monster. I probably should have just said “can respond to many” and left it at that, but as an immunologist I felt compelled to answer the question accurately, which led to my ultimate demise.

TSP: This next question comes to us from a concerned parent. Mercury is hostile, non-conducive to human life, and is the closest planet to the sun. Yet it is in vaccines. How can you explain that?

Offit: Well in the 20s and 30s people would get vaccines contained in multidose vials, which would consist of usually 10 doses per vial. As that rubber stopper was violated again and again by the needle and syringe, doctors could inadvertently introduce bacteria or fungi into the vial, even if it was stored at the proper low temperature, bacteria and fungi would still be viable; so, children could be inadvertently inoculated – when they got to 8th, 9th 10th dose – with bacteria like Staph aureus or even strep which could cause severe or occasionally fatal disease; so you needed some sort of preservative or bacteria static agent and ethyl-mercury, which is not environmental mercury and not methyl mercury and has a very short half life, was a perfect bacteria static agent.

The notion that you are not exposed to mercury all the time on this planet is a false one. Mercury is in the earths crust, its converted to methylmercury as it reaches the surface of the seas or the soil and so we all have a certain level of mercury in our bodies, much greater than you can ever encounter in vaccines; so it’s always sort of interesting for mercury to be considered “unnatural” when its actually quite natural and part of nature; the dose makes the poison and what you’re given in vaccines is only a drop in the ocean of what you typically encounter from mercury – assuming you drink anything made from water on this planet including breast milk and infant formula.

TSP: So you’re saying the mercury in vaccines is not related to Mercury the planet?

Offit: Yes that is correct.

TSP: Alright Mr Science. Riddle me this: every single person that I know who has died, has had at least one vaccine in their lifetime. How can you explain that?

Offit: So are non-vaccinated people immortal?

TSP: Now you’re dodging the question. As we know, if B happens after A, A therefor caused B. So are you saying everyone who gets a vaccine will die??

Offit: Yes.

TSP: Wow. That is a very big admission.

Our next question is multiple choice. What do you think is the greatest threat to our children today?:

A). Vaccines

B). GMOs

C). Chemtrails

D). All of the above

Offit: I’ll go with E, the Trump Administration.

TSP: Wow, going off the board. OK then.

It is a well known fact that people are not allowed to make documentaries that are not true. So what are your thought on Vaxxed?

Offit: Yes that’s true, you’re not allowed to lie in documentaries and you’re not allowed to lie on the internet. That’s important to know. So obviously if Vaxxed claims that the MMR vaccine actually did cause autism, then we should ignore the 17 studies that showed MMR did not cause autism. Because documentary film makers never lie.

TSP: Agreed. Our last question comes from one of our readers. They wanted to know why the majority of pro-vaxxers are such bullies while pro-safe vaccine advocates are always so nice, calm and willing to engage in polite scientific debate?

Offit: Its just the nature of the field I think. Pediatricians are bullies. All the pediatricians that I know are very difficult, mean-spirited, pushy, bully types. That’s who pediatricians are. I guess that’s why they go into pediatrics – so they can bully children…because they’re so little.

TSP: Thank you very much for taking the time to talk to us and admitting on tape that if you get a vaccine you will die.

Offit: My pleasure.


Paul Offit is a pediatrician specializing in infectious diseases and an expert on vaccines, immunology, and virology. He is the co-inventor of a rotavirus vaccine that has been credited with saving hundreds of lives every day. Offit is the Maurice R. Hilleman Professor of Vaccinology, professor of Pediatrics at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, chief of the Division of Infectious Diseases, and the director of the Vaccine Education Center at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. He has been a member of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices. Offit is a board member of Every Child by Two and a founding board member of the Autism Science Foundation (ASF). Pandora’s Lab is his ninth book.

  • andy

    Now that’s a good interview. Funny, satirical, yet truthful. Nicely done, people of the shill.