Trump announces plan to make Gaslighting a cornerstone of American energy policy


Trump announced today that he intends to make America energy independent and create millions of jobs by bringing back the gaslighting industry. Trump made the announcement in a 3 am tweet:

“I will unleash TRILLIONS of dollars in untapped gaslight! Obama made us TOTALLY dependant[sic] on hostile nations for our gaslight! DUMB!”

The move has been met with enthusiasm from supporters who believe the current administration has allowed American gaslighting jobs to be shipped overseas. According to one fan who calls himself ‘Deplorable Cucksucker’,

“It’s about damn time somebody put American gaslighting first. Main stream media liars never even talk about how Muslims get all the best gaslighting.”

It is unclear how Mr. Trump intends to implement his new plan. When asked to explain his thinking, he gave reporters a thumbs-up sign in the lobby of Trump Tower and stated briefly,

“Just wait. American gaslighting will be totally terrific. I will have tremendous success with gaslighting.”

Edited: At 3 pm, the president-elect appeared to back away from his early-morning statements, responding angrily to questions about gaslighting, claiming he had “no idea what you people are talking about.” He followed up with this 11 pm tweet:

“Media putting words in my mouth again! LAME! Can always count on the press to be honest – NOT!”

Writer, liberal humanist. Huffington Post Contributor. I use gross exaggeration, humor, and blatant stereotyping as literary devices.