Trump displaying classic symptoms of rabies, infectious disease experts say

Trump displaying classic symptoms of rabies, infectious disease experts say

WASHINGTON, DC – A growing number of infectious disease experts are worried that President Donald Trump is displaying all the classic signs of a rabies infection. “Mr. Trump is showing signs of extreme agitation, anxiety and confusion,” said Dr. Frank Sarivall of the CDC. “Another key symptom of rabies is fear of water. Mr. Trump […]

Education Secretary Betsy DaVos to reportedly add Flying Spaghetti Monster to school curriculum

Education Secretary Betsy DaVos to reportedly add Flying Spaghetti Monster to school curriculum

WASHINGTON, DC – Billionaire Betsy DaVos, home-school and anti-science expert, will be the Education Secretary tapped with leading America’s education into the future. One small hiccup for some is that she is not very fond of education. “I believe home schooling and religious schooling is the best choice for children, especially children of billionaires,” explained […]

Trump to meet with flat earthers to discuss Planetary Safety Committee

Trump to meet with flat earthers to discuss Planetary Safety Committee

NEW YORK, NY – President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will be meeting with top ranking flat earth conspiracy theorists to form a Planetary Safety Committee. It was recently announced that Trump is considering appointing anti-vaccine conspiracy nut Robert Kennedy Jr. to form a vaccine safety committee which has left normal, rational people scratching […]

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