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Forensic Science

Breaking: Monsanto to replace glyphosate with expired vaccines

in Food Science by
monsanto roundup

ST. LOUIS – In a breaking announcement this morning, Monsanto Company┬áhas announced that they will be replacing the main ingredient in their flagship product RoundUp (glyphosate) with expired vaccines procured from vaccine manufacturers. “Well we know both glyphosate and vaccines are toxic to humans so…

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Area man can’t grasp science of GMOs, decides he is against them

in Food Science by
HIPSTER

FAIRHAVEN, ND – Area man Russ Hatcher, 31, was concerned about GMOs and decided to do some research. After spending the better part of a week and up to 12 hours reading both anti-GMO and pro-science websites, Russ was no closer to understanding all the…

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Entire 2016 USA men’s hockey team diagnosed with sleeping sickness and chronic fatigue syndrome

in News by

TORONTO, CANADA – Team doctors for the 2016 USA World Cup men’s hockey team announced today that the entire roster has been diagnosed with both sleeping sickness and chronic fatigue syndrome. “We just received the results of all the tests, and all 23 players have…

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Over 100 seniors die just years after getting pneumococcal vaccine

in Conspiracy by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

NEW YORK, NY – In a breaking story you won’t find anywhere else, The Science Post┬áhas learned than over 100 elderly patients at a hospice center in New York City have died following their pneumococcal vaccines. “We have over 2100 patients aged 85+ in our…

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UN cancels all further action on climate change after internet commenter exposes it as a hoax

in Conspiracy by
UN Building

The United Nations announced today that any and all action and/or conferences focusing on climate change will immediately cease. The announcement comes after the UN read several comments on climate change articles on the internet. “Wow, we were way, way off,” said Dr. Chris Eula…

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Breaking: GMO salmon take over breeding plant, hold scientists hostage

in Food Science by
science, health, satire, vaccines.

PEI, CANADA – In a breaking story, reports indicate that the GMO Salmon being bread by AquaAdvantage, have turned on their captures and have taken control on the plant. “The doors and windows to the plant have been boarded up and we have been unable…

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