SPOKANE, WA – My Gardasil nightmare happened a few years ago, when I was in grade 7 and was scheduled to get my first HPV vaccine. The day is almost too horrific to talk about and I am just glad I survived it and came out the other side a better person.
The day before I was scheduled to get my shot I heard that Robbie Scott, the totally cute boy in my history class, would also be at the clinic the same time tomorrow for a check up. This is where my nightmare began. What should I wear? Will Robbie and I be in the waiting room together? Will my mom embarrass me?
That night I lay awake in bed terrified of what might happen. That’s when I had my first Gardasil nightmare. I dreamed I was at the clinic getting the shot and forgot to wear clothes. Robbie was there along with his popular friends and they all started laughing at me. It truly was a nightmare.
The next day I mustered up the courage to go and get my vaccine, double checking that I was wearing clothes. Sure enough, I got to the clinic and Robbie was there. Not with his mom or dad either, but with his super cool older brother. I sat down at the only available chair (right next to him!) and pretended to check my phone. Thank God he was called in right away and I didn’t have to sit next to him for too long, as I’m sure I was turning red.
I went in and got my shot, no problems at all (it didn’t even hurt) and then I saw Robbie again. He smiled at me as he was leaving and my whole body turned red. My mom noticed and asked me if I was feeling OK. I said I was fine and I just wanted to go home. My mom let me stay off school the rest of the afternoon as I texted all my friends about the whole Robbie Gate situation. That night I had my second Gardasil nightmare. This time Robbie and all his friends were at the clinic and I got my shot and then threw up all over them. It was so horrible. I woke up screaming and my mom rushed in to comfort me.
My crazy uncle Marty was talking to my mom about it and he told her that me turning red and having a nightmare was a vaccine-injury and we should definitely file a report in VAERS and try to get some compensation. He then made a Facebook post about it on some crazy Facebook group which went viral among them or something.
My only advice to anyone else getting the HPV vaccine is to make sure you check who in your class might be at the clinic at the same time as you, that way you can avoid the same Gardasil nightmares I had.