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Man gets attacked by shark while wearing David Wolfe’s shark repelling bracelet, experts baffled

in Alt Med by

AUSTRALIA – Local diver Gil Lacroix was swimming off Australia’s south coast when he was reportedly attacked and killed by a great white shark. What makes the story even more extraordinary was that Lacroix was wearing one of the shark repelling bracelets from David “Avocado” Wolfe.

“We really are left scratching our heads on this one to be honest,” said marine biologist Nancy Bellemire. “I mean it makes no sense that the shark would go anywhere near him with that bracelet on.”

Lacroix, an experienced diver and swimmer, is an avid outdoorsman and diehard fan of Mr. Wolfe.

“The sea was angry that day my friends,” said onlooker George Alexander. “Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.”

An investigation is currently underway.

 

  • Eric Bjerregaard

    OK, that was kind of funny.

    • mordd

      Wondering how many people realise this is satire, not many it seems.

  • Chris

    The shark was obviously attracted to the guacamole scented bracelet. There is not much depth in Wolf research. Come on! Who does not love a good guacamole sauce?

  • Kate W

    He must of been wearing it wrong. I swim the sea every day with David Wolfe’s shark repelling bracelet and I’ve never been attacked by a shark.

    Kate W, United Kingdom

    • mordd

      You realise until the day before he died, the victim could have and probably did say exactly the same thing. See the irony?

      • Kate W

        ….and I live in the UK where there are no shark attacks 😉

        • mordd

          Ummm… ok. Want to double check that & try again?

          https://www.google.com.au/search?q=shark%20attacks%20united%20kingdom

          1st result: Some think there are none, but this is a complete listing of all recorded shark attacks in British waters which may surprise you!

          ROFLMAO

          • Myco Sys

            Dude – its a joke, you had it spelt out to you and ‘corrected’ the explaination
            ‘sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt’

  • Wait.. are you telling me that magic bracelets are not a real thing? Maybe this shark was not told to leave people alone with said magic jewelry?

  • Neil Campbell

    Sounds like it probably fell off before the attack. Science is about finding the most logical explanation guys

    • Mark Bauermeister

      Nonsense! Clearly Monsanto has create a genetically modified super shark (90% shark, 10% kitten) that is immune to the effects of Wolfe’s patented shark repellent.

      That’s the only logical explanation, surely.

      • Neil Campbell

        Touche’

  • DesertPatriot

    My theory is that he had it on backwards, negating its anti shark properties. And I’ll bet that was a naughty shark, swimming in a shark free zone.