HEAVEN – In the ‘Facebook post heard round the world’, the almighty Himself admitted that He actually really likes science…a lot.
“Look, I never meant to intimate that I was anti-science or anything like that” He said. “I mean I gave you guys a really complicated, complex brain and a bunch of intricate systems to run your body with. That’s science bitches.”
God went even further during his post, expressing his dismay at how many people use Him to promote anti-science agendas.
“First and foremost, I am not against vaccines, GMOs, or things like chemotherapy. Some of my best and brightest creations came up with those things to help you guys,” He stressed. “So please stop using me as an excuse to withhold potentially life-saving interventions from you or your children.”
Many anti-vaccine, anti-GMO, chemtrail conspiracy nuts immediately accused God of being bought out by Big Pharma and claim that He is now nothing more than The Pharma Shill.
“Wow. I knew Big Pharma had a long reach, but I didn’t know they could reach all the way up to heaven and recruit God into their evil-science-literate-vaccine-cult,” said Joel Gooding, anti-vaccer. “This just goes to show that you can’t trust anyone anymore. Everyone on the planet, aside from me and the select other few who are “awake” of course, are probably being paid by either Big Pharma or Monsanto. FACT.”
So far the post has been shared over 1 million times and garnered nearly 23,000 comments, most of which are asking God how much he was paid to make the post.